Now that we've seen the Cleveland Browns play in Week 1 and then learning Robert Griffin III is already on injured reserve, we figured we'd at least help this poor fan base with early holiday shopping.
We give you: The Browns Box.
This is hilarious because, for one moment, just imagine what it'd be like to be a Browns fan (and if you actually are, sorry). Really think. And now you'll understand why the package comes with tissues, 'Draft Day' DVD, anti-depressants, an NFL Draft preview magazine and ice cream.
It's OK, Cleveland, you got a basketball championship and the Indians might win the pennant. Hold on to those things.
NFL POWER RANKINGS ENTERING WEEK 1 (BROWNS ARE OBVIOUSLY LAST):
NFL Power Rankings: Week 1
NFL Power Rankings: Week 1
32. Browns (0-4)
Preseason records typically mean close to nothing, but it's easy to imagine the Browns' regular season ending up about as successful as their exhibition slate.
(Photo by Don Juan Moore/Getty Images)
31. 49ers (2-2)
Chip Kelly decided on Blaine Gabbert as his starting quarterback to open the season, but it shouldn't be long before his play leads to another Colin Kaepernick takeover -- but it's unclear if the 28-year-old has much left in the tank after injury woes.
(Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)
30. Titans (3-1)
DeMarco Murray and Derrick Henry are in the offensive fold to help Marcus Mariota's attack, but with a still-futile offensive line and limited playmakers on the other side of the ball, Tennessee will probably still be in for a long season.
(AP Photo/Mark Zaleski, File)
29. Chargers (1-3)
Philip Rivers will put up his numbers, and Keenan Allen do the same, but Melvin Gordon will need to show dramatic improvement on his rookie campaign for the team's offense to build -- Joey Bosa missing the early portion of the season won't do the defense any favors, either.
(AP Photo/Lenny Ignelzi)
28. Lions (2-2)
Golden Tate -- and his fantasy owners -- will be the immediate beneficiaries of Calvin Johnson's retirement, but without him, it will be hard for Detroit to put points on the board.
(AP Photo/Gail Burton)
27. Dolphins (2-2)
2016 figures to be a make-or-break year for the Dolphins, who added Arian Foster and Mario Williams via free agency, but how Ryan Tannehill fares under center -- particularly in the Brady-less first month of the season -- will determine the team's fate.
(Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports)
26. Eagles (4-0)
After an injury-riddled preseason, it's difficult to imagine rookie Carson Wentz stepping in and leading the Eagles' offense to new heights. On the bright side, though, Philly garnered a first-rounder for Sam Bradford.
(Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports)
25. Saints (0-4)
Nick Fairley and Roman Harper have been added to help out a woeful defense, but Drew Brees -- with a new contract extension in hand -- doesn't have much to work with on his side of the ball.
(Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports)
24. Rams (2-2)
With Jared Goff faltering in the preseason, the No. 1 overall pick won't even be active for Week 1. Much will be asked of Todd Gurley in his second season, but if he can merely keep up his rookie production, LA may be able to stay afloat -- a strong defensive side of the ball will play a part as well.
(Photo by Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images)
23. Ravens (4-0)
Steve Smith's return from an Achiles injury in what likely will be his final NFL season will be a huge factor in the Ravens' success this season -- which isn't a great situation to be in.
(Photo by Matt Hazlett/Getty Images)
22. Bears (1-3)
After missing his rookie season, WR Kevin White is healthy and should help form a dynamic receiving duo with Alshon Jeffery. Chicago lost Matt Forte and Martellus Bennett, however -- not to mention Adam Gase, who took the Dolphins' head coaching job. Good luck, Jay Cutler.
(Photo by Nick Cammett/Diamond Images/Getty Images)
21. Buccaneers (2-2)
Second-year QB Jameis Winston looks to be in the best shape of his life, and his connection with WR Mike Evans should only strengthen as they gain experience together. Tampa Bay seems to be building an encouraging team. With a few breaks in the right direction, Tampa could surprise some people.
(AP Photo/Michael Perez)
20. Falcons (3-1)
Mohamed Sanu will theoretically produce more than Roddy White did a season ago (which isn't saying much), but the other pieces are largely the same as they were last season.
(Photo by Joel Auerbach/Getty Images)
19. Bills (1-3)
In typical Rex Ryan fashion, the Bills will likely talk a big game all season long -- especially with the Patriots vulnerable without Tom Brady until Week 5, and the Jets going up against a brutally tough schedule. But Marcell Dareus' suspension hurts.
(Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images)
18. Redskins (3-1)
Washington added Josh Norman to help its subpar defensive unit, and the team should have every chance to compete in a wide-open NFC East. Kirk Cousins, playing on a franchise tag, will have everything to prove entering free agency -- and he'll have to prove that last year's success wasn't a fluke.
(Photo by John McDonnell / The Washington Post via Getty Images)
17. Cowboys (1-3)
Tony Romo will be out until at least midseason, which leaves the offense in the hands of Dak Prescott and Mark Sanchez. Ezekiel Elliott has looked great, and is a front runner for Rookie of the Year, while any quarterback should at least be good enough to get Dez Bryant the ball. Can they hang in the NFC East until Romo returns?(Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)
16. Jaguars (1-3)
The Jags, at times, looked much better than their 5-11 record last year, and could compete for a potential playoff spot this season. With Blake Bortles able to utilize T.J. Yeldon, Denard Robinson, Allen Hurns and Allen Robinson on offense -- and with some infusion of young talent on defense -- Jacksonville should be fun to watch.
(Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images)
15. Raiders (1-3)
While the Raiders certainly have the pieces to finally piece together a good-to-very-good season, we're not going all-in on this bunch just yet. Though if Amari Cooper avoids a sophomore slump, Oakland should be extremely dangerous on offense -- with incredible potential on the other side of the ball, too.
(Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)
14. Giants (2-2)
The Giants have an opportunity to take the reigns of the NFC East thanks to Tony Romo's injured back, and New York improved its putrid 2015 defense through free agency. Odell Beckham will put up his numbers, but Victor Cruz being a suitable weapon would obviously be a welcome addition. If the Giants can form any semblance of a running game -- while performing up to par on defense -- the division should be theirs.
(Photo by Rich Barnes/Getty Images)
13. Vikings (4-0)
Teddy Bridgewater's injury is a major shot to Minnesota's Super Bowl hopes, which may have been a bit premature anyway. While the team's defense is among the league's best, Sam Bradford is being called on to lead the offense -- which is a problem.
(AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
12. Jets (1-3)
The Jets were the only 10-win team to miss the playoffs last season, and are returning a team just as talented. Ryan Fitzpatrick will need to live up to his impressive 2015 season, though, which was more productive than any of his previous 10 years. The team's defense remains stout, though, and should have them competing for a postseason berth, despite a tough schedule.
(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun, File)
11. Texans (4-0)
Adding Brock Osweiler is a major gamble, but could pay huge dividends if he can play an adequate enough quarterback to give Houston some sort of offense beyond DeAndre Hopkins' playmaking ability. J.J. Watt may miss the early portion of the season, but with so many versatile athletes on both sides of the ball, Houston should compete with the Colts for the division.
(Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)
10. Chiefs (2-2)
The Chiefs are returning much of the same squad as last year, and are largely banking on Travis Kelce and Jeremy Maclin to carry their passing game. Jamaal Charles remains one of the best backs in the NFL, but his health -- and Andy Reid's willingness to give him the ball enough -- could get in the way of his success.
(Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
9. Colts (2-2)
Andrew Luck's injury derailed Indy's 2015 campaign, but after the front office finally decided to invest in his offensive line, a healthy year could put the Colts right back in contention to go deep into the playoffs.
(Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
8. Broncos (2-2)
After a failed Mark Sanchez experiment, the defending champion Broncos are turning to a seventh-round pick at quarterback. Trevor Siemian will start the season under center, though he's likely just keeping the seat warm for rookie Paxton Lynch. The weapons are there on offense and defense, and the Broncos won a title in 2015 with iffy quarterback play. Can they do it again?
(Photo by Helen H. Richardson/The Denver Post via Getty Images)
7. Seahawks (3-1)
Marshawn Lynch is retired, but rookie Thomas Rawls ran for 830 yards as a rookie. He and Christine Michael figure to combine for a large chunk of what Lynch produced when healthy. Russell Okung and Bruce Irvin are also both out of the picture, but the Seahawks sturdy defensive foundation remains. The pressure will likely again fall on Russell Wilson to excel with limited weaponry at his disposal -- but he's surprised us in that regard before.
(Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
6. Steelers (1-3)
At full strength, the Steelers are among the league's best. But with Martavis Bryant out all this season while suspended, and Le'Veon Bell banned until Week 4, Pittsburgh is missing two of its three best playmakers. Still, the team should probably be headed for the postseason -- but can't seem to get out of their own way.
(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
5. Bengals (1-3)
The Bengals looked to finally be on their way toward a deep postseason run last year until a Andy Dalton injury derailed that thought. With much of the same core in tact, 2016 should deliver more of the same pre-Dalton-injury results.
(Photo by Rob Foldy/Getty Images)
4. Patriots (3-1)
After more than a year, the Deflategate saga came to an end when it was announced that Tom Brady would have to serve his four-game suspension this season. A quarter-season with Jimmy Garoppolo sets them a hair behind the eight-ball, but we're never ones to doubt Bill Belichick.
(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
3. Packers (3-1)
After a disappointing 2015 campaign relative to their standards, the Packers are looking to bounce back with a dominant year with Jordy Nelson eyeing a return from a torn ACL. Eddie Lacy was instructed to get in better shape for this season, and if his conditioning has improved, Green Bay could be in the hunt for the NFL's best record.
(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
2. Panthers (2-2)
It's easy to forget, but the Panthers enjoyed their run to the Super Bowl last season without top receiver Kelvin Benjamin. They lost Josh Norman to Washington, but a strong defensive foundation -- and meaningful game experience -- should have the Panthers in contention for a deep playoff run again this season.
(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
1. Cardinals (1-3)
Most of last season's impact players are back for 2016, and the team added Chandler Jones, Robert Mathis and Robert Nkemdiche on the defensive end. If Carson Palmer can maintain last season's output at age 36, there's reason to believe the Cardinals can be football's best team in 2016.