'Vanderpump Rules' drama is the only constant in this crazy thing we call life

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There are few certainties in life, but one thing that can always unite and comfort us is the constant, cutting drama of Vanderpump Rules. Bravo released the first bit of season-five footage, which includes reliable tropes like: a woman screaming at Jax, group vacations that will inevitably end badly, skinny dipping, busboy/DJ James Kennedy acting up, Kristen crying, Stassi crying, a SUR nude photo shoot that must break some HR codes, and the serene wisdom of Lisa Vanderpump holding it all together (as a wedding officiant, no less!).

See photos of Lisa Vanderpump:

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Lisa Vanderpump through the years
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Lisa Vanderpump through the years
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 21: Reality TV Personality Lisa Vanderpump attends the 'Women Of Influence Awards' at The Wilshire Ebell Theatre on June 21, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 21: Ken Todd (L) and Lisa Vanderpump (R) attend the 'Women Of Influence Awards' at The Wilshire Ebell Theatre on June 21, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - MAY 22: Philanthropist and host Lisa Vanderpump speaks onstage at World Dog Day on May 22, 2016 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/WireImage)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Pictured: Lisa Vanderpump -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS -- 'Reunion' -- Pictured: (l-r) Erika Girardi, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Yolanda H. Foster, Andy Cohen, Lisa Rinna, Eileen Davidson, Kathryn Edwards -- (Photo by: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 15: Reality TV Personality Lisa Vanderpump attends the Universal Music Group's 2016 GRAMMY after party at The Theatre At The Ace Hotel on February 15, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic)
LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 15: Reality TV Personality Lisa Vanderpump attends the Universal Music Group's 2016 GRAMMY after party at The Theatre At The Ace Hotel on February 15, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 13: Lisa Vanderpump speaks at the AOL Build Speaker Series - Lisa Vanderpump, 'Vanderpump Rules' at AOL Studios In New York on January 13, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images)
IRVINE, CA - FEBRUARY 06: Reality TV Personality Lisa Vanderpump attends the opening night premiere of Cavalia's 'Odysseo' at Odysseo's White Big Top on February 6, 2016 in Irvine, California. (Photo by Paul Archuleta/Getty Images)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Pictured (l-r): Lisa Vanderpump and Hoda Kotb -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 13: Lisa Vanderpump arrives at the AOL Build Speaker Series - Lisa Vanderpump, 'Vanderpump Rules' at AOL Studios In New York on January 13, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Pictured (l-r): Lisa Vanderpump and Hoda Kotb -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Pictured: Lisa Vanderpump -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 06: Lisa Vanderpump arrives at People's Choice Awards 2016 at Microsoft Theater on January 6, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 24: Restaurateurs Ken Todd and wife Lisa Vanderpump pose for photo at Project Angel Food on December 24, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Tasia Wells/Getty Images)
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Season five returns at long last on November 7, hopefully accompanied by the dulcet tones of an autotuned Scheana.


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