Why doesn't 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' show the nannies?

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It took me a while to come around to the allure of the Kardashians. By the time I saw my first episode of their show, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, they were already a few seasons in. It took me even longer to get to where I am now: completely in awe of their awesome woman power.

But now as a mother, I watch the show with really different eyes than I did before I had a child. I give a lot more credit to Kris Jenner, who clearly has been a great mother for many years. And though the newest generation of Kardashian mothers (Kourtney and Kim) have a lot more money and are a lot busier than many of us, they also seem to be truly family focused and really well grounded, and I give their parents a lot of the credit for that. Say what you will about their fame (and haven't we said all of it, already?), the Kardashians are a true clan: They are close-knit, they travel and live together, and it's not just for television. Despite the often very silly and obviously setup bits on the show, there's a lot of candor and closeness, real moments, between the family members.

See photos of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian together:

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West arrive at the 2015 CFDA Fashion Awards at Alice Tully Hall on Monday, June 1, 2015, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West arrive at The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute benefit gala celebrating "China: Through the Looking Glass" on Monday, May 4, 2015, in New York. (Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP)
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West attend the TIME 100 Gala, celebrating the 100 most influential people in the world, at the Frederick P. Rose Hall, Time Warner Center on Tuesday, April 21, 2015, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Kim Kardashian along with Kanye West and their daughter North are spotted at LAX Airport in Los Angeles, Ca Picture by: Quarterflash/Vantage News 8 April 2015. Picture by: Quarterflash/Vantage News 8 April 2015. Vantage News/IPx
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian arrive for Lanvin's ready-to-wear Fall-Winter 2015/2016 fashion collection, part of the Paris Fashion Week, Thursday March 5, 2015 in Paris, France. (AP Photo/Jacques Brinon)
Kanye Wesy, left, and Kim Kardashian arrive at the Roc Nation Pre-Grammy Brunch at RocNation Offices on Saturday, Feb. 7, 2015, in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Rob Latour/Invision/AP)
Kanye West, left, and Kim Kardashian arrive at the LACMA Art + Film Gala at LACMA on Saturday, Nov. 1, 2014, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 25: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are seen in Tribeca on March 25, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Alo Ceballos/GC Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 18: (L-R) Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Kanye West at Flaunt Magazine's 10th Anniversary Party and Annual Holiday Toy Drive at the Wayne Kao Mansion on December 18th, 2008 in Holmby Hills, CA. (Photo by Michael Bezjian/WireImage)
MIAMI BEACH, FL - DECEMBER 06: Kanye West, Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian attend the celebration of Dom Perignon Luminous Rose at Wall at W Hotel on December 6, 2012 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Dom Perignon)
MIAMI BEACH, FL - DECEMBER 06: Kourtney Kardashian and Kanye West and Scott Disick attend the celebration of Dom Perignon Luminous Rose at Wall at W Hotel on December 6, 2012 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Dom Perignon)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - NOVEMBER 13: Kanye West and Scott Disick sighting on November 13, 2013 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by David Aguilera/BuzzFoto/FilmMagic)
MIAMI BEACH, FL - DECEMBER 06: Kanye West, Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian attend the celebration of Dom Perignon Luminous Rose at Wall at W Hotel on December 6, 2012 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Dom Perignon)
LOS ANGELES - SEPTEMBER 25: Music recording artist Kanye West, left, and socialite Kim Kardashian attend the grand opening of Intermix on September 25, 2007 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Chris Weeks/WireImage)
PARIS, FRANCE - MAY 23: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are seen on May 23, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
Kim Kardashian walks out of a gym center on May 22, 2014 in Paris. Kardashian and partner US musician Kanye West are expected to be tying the knot this weekend, fuelling speculation about the wedding's location. Florence's La Nazione daily reported that they would have a marriage ceremony in France early on May 24, before travelling to Italy for the party. AFP PHOTO / KENZO TRIBOUILLARD (Photo credit should read KENZO TRIBOUILLARD/AFP/Getty Images)
Kanye West gestures next to Kim Kardashian as they stroll through rue Darboy in the 11th district near Belleville, during shopping on May 21, 2014 in Paris. The celebrity pair is expected to be tying the knot this weekend, fuelling speculation about the wedding's location. Florence's La Nazione daily reported that they would have a marriage ceremony in France early on May 24, before travelling to Italy for the party. AFP PHOTO / KENZO TRIBOUILLARD (Photo credit should read KENZO TRIBOUILLARD/AFP/Getty Images)
PARIS, FRANCE - MAY 19: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are seen strolling on the 'Avenue Montaigne' on May 19, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 05: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West attend the 'Charles James: Beyond Fashion' Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 5, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
PARIS, FRANCE - MAY 19: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are seen strolling in the 'Rue Saint Honore' on May 19, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
PARIS, FRANCE - APRIL 14: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West leave the 'Lanvin' store on April 14, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 21: Singer Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are seen in Soho on February 21, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 21: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian leave the 'Meurice' hotel on January 21, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/FilmMagic)
PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 19: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are seen on January 19, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 25: Kim Kardashian and Kayne West are seen in Soho on November 25, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 22: Kim Kardashian, North West and Kayne West are seen in Soho on November 22, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Alo Ceballos/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 06: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West attend the Costume Institute Gala for the 'PUNK: Chaos to Couture' exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 6, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for The Huffington Post)
PARIS, FRANCE - SEPTEMBER 28: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are seen on the 'Avenue Montaigne' on September 28, 2013 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/WireImage)
PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 11: Kanye West (R) and Kim Kardashian are seen arriving at the 'BALANCIAGA' store on January 11, 2013 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/FilmMagic)
LAS VEGAS, NV - DECEMBER 31: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West arrive for the New Year's Eve countdown at 1 OAK Nightclub at The Mirage Hotel & Casino on December 31, 2012 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Denise Truscello/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 25: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West attend the NBA game between the Denver Nuggets and the Los Angeles Clippers at Staples Center on December 25, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. The Clippers defeated the Nuggets 112-100. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Victor Decolongon/Getty Images)
PARIS, FRANCE - JULY 04: (L-R) Kim Kardashian, Kanye West and Clemence Poesy attend the Valentino Haute-Couture Show as part of Paris Fashion Week Fall / Winter 2012/2013 at Hotel Salomon de Rothschild on July 4, 2012 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dominique Charriau/WireImage)
PARIS, FRANCE - JULY 03: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian attend the Stephane Rolland Haute-Couture Show as part of Paris Fashion Week Fall / Winter 2013 at Cite de l'Architecture et du Patrimoine on July 3, 2012 in Paris, France. (Photo by Michel Dufour/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 01: (L-R) Rapper Kanye West and television personality Kim Kardashian attend the 2012 BET Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on July 1, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images For BET)
CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 23: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian attend the 'Cruel Summer' presentation during the 65th Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 23, 2012 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Mike Marsland/WireImage)
TORONTO, ON - MAY 10: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian visits The Bay Queen Street to celebrate the Canadian debut of her jewellery line Belle Noel on May 10, 2012 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by George Pimentel/WireImage)
PARIS, FRANCE - MARCH 06: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West attend the Kanye West Ready-To-Wear Fall/Winter 2012 show as part of Paris Fashion Week at Halle Freyssinet on March 6, 2012 in Paris, France. (Photo by Michel Dufour/WireImage)
PARIS, FRANCE - MARCH 06: Cassie, guest, Sean 'Diddy' Combs and Kim Kardashian attend the Kanye West Ready-To-Wear Fall/Winter 2012 show as part of Paris Fashion Week at Halle Freyssinet on March 6, 2012 in Paris, France. (Photo by Michel Dufour/WireImage)
IMAGE DISTRIBUTED FOR THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER - Kim Kardashian, left, and Kanye West attend The Hollywood Reporter's celebration of power 100 women in entertainment breakfast on Wednesday, Dec. 11, 2013 in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Todd Williamson/Invision for The Hollywood Reporter/AP Images)
This cover image taken by Annie Leibovitz for Vogue shows the April 2014 issue of the high fashion magazine featuring rapper Kanye West and TV personality Kim Kardashian. The April issue hits newsstands nationwide on March 31 and will be available on March 24 as a digital download for tablets. (AP Photo/Vogue, Annie Leibovitz)
This document released by the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health shows the birth certificate for North West, the daughter of reality TV star Kim Kardashian and rapper Kanye West. The birth certificate says North was born at 5:34 a.m. Saturday, June 15, 2013 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Los Angeles County Department of Public Health)
Kanye West,, left, talks to Kim Kardashian, right, before an NBA basketball game between the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks Thursday, Dec, 6, 2012, in Miami. ( AP Photo/Alan Diaz)
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So, the mother in me watches, and though I am loath to criticize them because I love them, I often wonder, Where are the nannies? I know they exist. Why, in a show that is pretty often groundbreaking and transparent and "real," are they invisible?

I know the Kardashians have nannies because, even though I am not a Kardashian, nor am I wealthy, I am a working mother and my daughter has had a nanny. She goes to school now, and only has an occasional babysitter, but when you work there are only a few options for very young kids: day care, family members, or nannies. I know that any working mother — especially say, one whose partner tours as much as Kanye West — needs more help than her also-working and busy family can provide.

This is an issue of feminist concern. Kim Kardashian might not want to call herself a feminist, and that's fine: I can see with my own eyes that she is an admirable role model for young feminists everywhere. Despite plenty of writers — men and women — claiming that the Kardashians are "famous for nothing," it's become obvious over the past few years that the women of the family are extremely good at business, and critiques that they're making money "doing nothing" (clothing, apps, makeup, etc.) feel more than a little gendered.

See photos of Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick with their family:

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Kourtney Kardashian and her family
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Kourtney Kardashian and her family
LAS VEGAS, NV - FEBRUARY 21: Television personalities Scott Disick (L) and Kourtney Kardashian appear at 1 OAK Nightclub at The Mirage Hotel & Casino on February 21, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by David Becker/WireImage)
LAS VEGAS, NV - MAY 23: Television personality Kourtney Kardashian attends Scott's birthday celebration at 1 OAK Nightclub at The Mirage Hotel & Casino on May 23, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Steven Lawton/FilmMagic)
Madly in love with my little Reign Aston Disick.
BRIDGEHAMPTON, NY - AUGUST 09: TV Personality Kourtney Kardashian and husband Scott Disick attend Women's Health Hosts Hamptons 'Party Under The Stars' for RUN10 FEED10 at Bridgehampton Tennis and Surf Club on August 9, 2014 in Bridgehampton, New York. (Photo by Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images for Women's Health)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - MARCH 02: Television personalities Kim Kardashian (L) and Kourtney Kardashian attend the 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party at The City of West Hollywood Park on March 2, 2014 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for EJAF)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 12: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are seen in Sag Harbor on June 12, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by David Krieger/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 26: Kourtney Kardashian,Kendall Jenner and Kris Jenner are seen in the Meat Packing District on June 26, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Alo Ceballos/GC Images)
LAS VEGAS, NV - NOVEMBER 07: Kris Jenner (R) and Scott Disick (L) celebrates Kris Jenner's birthday at 1 OAK nightclub at the Mirage Hotel and Casino on November 7, 2014 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Denise Truscello/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 26: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are seen on September 26, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 08: (L-R) Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian attend as Nicole Richie, Rivka Sophia Rossi, Hayden Slater and friends host Marianne Williamson, Independent Candidate for Congress, CA 33 event at Kayne Griffin Corcoran Gallery on April 8, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 16: Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian are seen on October 16, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 16: Harry Smith, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian attend the Generation NXT charity benefit at 1OAK on February 16, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 31: (L-R) Television personalities Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are seen on May 31, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by NCP/Star Max/GC Images)
PARIS, FRANCE - MAY 22: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick arrive at the 'Baby Dior' store on May 22, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)
MIAMI BEACH, FL - MARCH 12: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are sighted arriving back to their hotel in South Beach on March 12, 2014 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by Dave Lee/GC Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 11: Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are seen at LAX airport on March 11, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by GVK/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - OCTOBER 23: Kourtney Kardashian and photographer Brian Bowen Smith attend the Brian Bowen Smith WILDLIFE show hosted by Casamigos Tequila at De Re Gallery on October 23, 2014 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Rochelle Brodin/Getty Images)
JERSEY CITY, NJ - JULY 07: Kim, Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian joined Babies'R'Us to surprise military moms-to-be with gifts, including items from their Kardashian Kids collection, at an Operation Shower event at Battello on July 7, 2014 in Jersey City, New Jersey. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Babies'R'Us)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - MARCH 02: (L-R) Kim Kardashian, Sir Elton John and Kourtney Kardashian attend the 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party at The City of West Hollywood Park on March 2, 2014 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for EJAF)
Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian attend the "Party Under The Stars" benefit hosted by Women's Health and Feed at the Bridgehampton Tennis and Surf Club on Saturday, Aug. 9, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Scott Roth/Invision/AP)
Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian attend the "Party Under The Stars" benefit hosted by Women's Health and Feed at the Bridgehampton Tennis and Surf Club on Saturday, Aug. 9, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Scott Roth/Invision/AP)
New York, U.S. April 22, 2013. April 22, 2013 - New York, New York, U.S. - Reality personalities SCOTT DISICK and KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN attend the 2013 E! Upfront held at the Manhattan Center. (Credit Image: © Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMAPRESS.com/Alamy Live News)
Television personality Kourtney Kardashian and boyfriend Scott Disick attend the 2nd Annual DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl presented by Spike, Thursday, Jan. 31, 2008 in Scottsdale, Ariz. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)
New York, U.S. April 22, 2013. April 22, 2013 - New York, New York, U.S. - Reality personalities SCOTT DISICK and KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN attend the 2013 E! Upfront held at the Manhattan Center. (Credit Image: © Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMAPRESS.com/Alamy Live News)
Sep. 02, 2010 - Los Angeles, California, U.S. - SCOTT DISICK, KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN Attending The Taste Of Beverly Hills Celebration Held At The Beverly Hilton Hotel In Beverly Hills, California On September 2, 2010. 2010.K66248LONG(Credit Image: © D. Long/Globe Photos/ZUMApress.com)
Sep. 02, 2010 - Los Angeles, California, U.S. - SCOTT DISICK, KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN Attending The Taste Of Beverly Hills Celebration Held At The Beverly Hilton Hotel In Beverly Hills, California On September 2, 2010. 2010.K66248LONG(Credit Image: © D. Long/Globe Photos/ZUMApress.com)
Kourtney Kardashian attends the "Party Under The Stars" benefit hosted by Women's Health and Feed at the Bridgehampton Tennis and Surf Club on Saturday, Aug. 9, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Scott Roth/Invision/AP)
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But the realities of motherhood — and working motherhood — are what they are regardless of if you are Kim Kardashian or Laura June: One person cannot be a busy full-time worker (whether for themselves or someone else) and also a full-time caregiver to a child. This is simple math, and it should be celebrated and accepted.

Having a nanny or other caretaker for your child doesn't make you a lesser mother. The fact that you don't spend 24 hours a day with your children has no bearing on the quality of the time that you do spend with them. And, in modern society, which, yes, has been influenced heavily by the feminist movement demanding equal rights — including the right to earn a living — being able to afford child care should be a right, not a luxury. A right that we should not be ashamed of requiring or making use of.

Now, the historical place of the nanny is a little complicated, so we generally don't talk about them as what they often are: part of our extended families. I feel this way about the teachers at my daughter's school. They are part of the network of people — almost exclusively women — who help me care for my daughter in the best way possible. This is something to celebrate, and I would love to see the Kardashian's nannies on the show, just as I have seen Kris's personal assistants and people who buy clothes for DASH for years. Instead, what I see are quick cuts of the kids while Scott and Kourtney talk, then seconds later, it's just Scott and Kourtney, alone in the kitchen. I see Kim out and about driving her car just months after North is born, and I think, Where is North?

I have no right to know: When I am out in my car, alone, I don't want anyone saying, "Who is watching your daughter?" That question would get an eye-roll or a "fuck you," depending on my mood. And I respect their decisions about when and how to have their children on the show. "I signed on to do this," Kim said right after North's birth in June of 2013, "but that doesn't mean that my husband and my child did." I respect this decision, and I support it. But realistically, the absence of any child care on the show stands out in a way that calls more attention to itself. Even passing references would go a long way toward normalizing the realities of everyday child care: It literally takes a village of people to raise small children.

There are plenty of shots of the Disick and West children out there, sometimes with their parents, and sometimes out and about with their caretakers. Just last week Saint West made news because he was spotted out in his stroller in NYC, wearing a pair of his father's much sought-after baby Yeezy sneakers. What no one really focused on was that Saint was with his nanny. I remember thinking about this years ago, when my daughter was still a baby, and had just started spending time with her nanny while I worked at home writing. How weird, I thought, she's out in the world, at a museum or a park, with someone who isn't me. She's living on her own timeline, and I'm on mine. Luckily, there was no paparazzi there to watch her.

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