You will never see Blake Shelton's nipples so long as you live

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Gwen Stefani Confirms New Song with Blake Shelton

Late last night, "Page Six" published perhaps its most intense "exclusive" yet. Are you ready to read the headline? It's "EXCLUSIVE: Why You'll Never See Blake Shelton With His Shirt Off." Oh, dang.

The report was prompted, it seems, by this photo of Shelton standing neck-deep in a pool, completely clothed. He is holding his public companion, Gwen Stefani, who is wearing a bikini.

"You will never see him shirtless," a source told "Page Six." "Backstage ... he always keeps his dressing room closed. At photo shoots, he will not change on set. He goes back to his dressing room whenever he needs to take his clothes off."

What's going on there?

According to the same source, Shelton is just "so shy about showing off his body."

That's okay.

(Don't try Googling "Blake Shelton shirtless," because I already did that and nothing comes up.)

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Blake Shelton spoofed farmer Chris Soules as 'The Bachelor' on 'Saturday Night Live.'
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Taran Killam and Blake Shelton during the 'Magician' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Taran Killam, Jay Pharoah, Bobby Moynihan, Pete Davidson, Blake Shelton, Cecily Strong, Leslie Jones and Vanessa Bayer during Blake Shelton's Hee-Haw Monologue on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton and Leslie Jones during the 'Farm Hunk' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: Blake Shelton during the monologue on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton, Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant as Ashley during the 'Farm Hunk' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton and Aidy Bryant as Ashley during the 'Farm Hunk' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton and Kate McKinnon during the 'Farm Hunk' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton and Vanessa Bayer during the 'Farm Hunk' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton and Sasheer Zamata during the 'Farm Hunk' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton and Kate McKinnon during the 'Farm Hunk' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: (l-r) Blake Shelton, Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant during the 'Wishing Boot' skit on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
THE VOICE -- 'Live Show' Episode 718B -- Pictured: Blake Shelton -- (Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: Musical guest Blake Shelton performs on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- 'Blake Shelton' Episode 1674 -- Pictured: Musical guest Blake Shelton performs on January 24, 2015 -- (Photo by: Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 11: Blake Shelton is seen at 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on December 11, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE - Emmy Award-nominated 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' airs every weeknight (11:35 p.m. - 12:41 a.m., ET), packed with hilarious comedy bits and features a diverse lineup of guests including celebrities, athletes, musicians, comedians and humorous human interest subjects. The guests for THURSDAY, DECEMBER 11 included panelist and musical guest Blake Shelton (Album 'Bringing Back the Sunshine') and actress Laura Dern ('Wild'). (Randy Holmes/ABC via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 11: Blake Shelton is seen at 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on December 11, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 11: Ashley Monroe and Blake Shelton are seen at 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on December 11, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - DECEMBER 08: Singer/musician Blake Shelton attends the NBC's 'The Voice' Season 7 Red Carpet Event held at HYDE Sunset: Kitchen + Cocktails on December 8, 2014 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - DECEMBER 08: Blake Shelton attends NBC's 'The Voice' season 7 red carpet event at HYDE Sunset: Kitchen + Cocktails on December 8, 2014 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - NOVEMBER 24: Blake Shelton (L) and Adam Levine arrive for NBC's 'The Voice' Season 7 Red Carpet Event at Universal CityWalk on November 24, 2014 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Gabriel Olsen/Getty Images)
NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 05: Singer Blake Shelton attends the 48th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 5, 2014 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
NASHVILLE, TN - NOVEMBER 05: Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert attend the 48th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on November 5, 2014 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)
Blake Shelton poses in the press room with the award for male vocalist of the year at the 48th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 5, 2014, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton performs during the CMA Fest at LP Field on Friday, June 6, 2014, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by [Wade Payne/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton accepts the award for male video of the year for “Doin’ What She Likes” at the CMT Music Awards at Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, June 4, 2014, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Wade Payne/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton walks to the stage to accept the award for male video of the year for “Doin’ What She Likes” at the CMT Music Awards at Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, June 4, 2014, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Wade Payne/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton, right, hugs Luke Bryan in the audience as he walks to the stage to accept his award for male video of the year for "Doin’ What She Likes" at the CMT Music Awards at Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, June 4, 2014, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Wade Payne/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton performs at the iHeartRadio Music Awards at the Shrine Auditorium on Thursday, May 1, 2014, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton speaks on stage at the iHeartRadio Music Awards at the Shrine Auditorium on Thursday, May 1, 2014, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton, left, and Shakira perform on stage at the 49th annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on Sunday, April 6, 2014, in Las Vegas. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Gwen Sebastian, left, and Blake Shelton perform on stage at the 49th annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on Sunday, April 6, 2014, in Las Vegas. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Luke Bryan, left, and Blake Shelton take a selfie in the audience at the 49th annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena on Sunday, April 6, 2014, in Las Vegas. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Miranda Lambert, left, and Blake Shelton arrive at the 56th annual GRAMMY Awards at Staples Center on Sunday, Jan. 26, 2014, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
Miranda Lambert , right, and Blake Shelton arrive at the 47th annual CMA Awards at Bridgestone Arena on Wednesday, Nov. 6, 2013, in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Blake Shelton performs on day 2 of the 2013 CMA Music festival at LP Field on Friday, June 7, 2013 in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Wade Payne/Invision/AP)
In this image provided by NBC Blake Shelton and Danielle Bradbery pose after she won season-four of "The Voice" Tuesday June 18, 2013. Bradbery never had a big singing gig or a vocal lesson. It's also the third win for her coach Blake Shelton. (AP Photo?NBC, Trae Patton)
Blake Shelton performs on day 2 of the 2013 CMA Music festival at LP Field on Friday, June 7, 2013 in Nashville, Tenn. (Photo by Wade Payne/Invision/AP)
This May 21, 2013 photo released by NBC shows married singers Miranda Lambert, left, and Blake Shelton performing an acoustic version of the hit "Over You" during a broadcast of the singing competition series, "The Voice," in Los Angeles. Shelton and NBC are putting together a benefit for Oklahoma tornado victims. Shelton, an Oklahoma native, told reporters about the fundraising effort after Tuesday night's episode of "The Voice." He said the benefit would be held soon in nearby Oklahoma City. (AP Photo/NBC, Trae Patton)
Miranda Lambert, right, and Blake Shelton accept the award for song of the year for "Over You" at the 48th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas on Sunday, April 7, 2013. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
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