Here's what you need to be in order to see those billions.
1. Be An Aquarian.
The most popular star sign among billionaires is Aquarius. It surprisingly beats out the bullishness of Taurus. Perhaps it's Aquarians' deep thinking creativity that makes them so special. Perhaps it's their general joie-de-vivre and sagacity that helps them rise above the rest. (Disclosure: An Aquarian is writing this.) It could, of course, just be a random scattering. On the other hand, if your sign is Libra or Cancer, you have less that half the chance of an Aquarian of touching those billions.
It seems that the number of bald billionaires is on the rise. Did they tear their hair out to get to the top? I'll say that before you do. Do bald people feel they have more to prove, especially if they went bald young? (Disclosure: No hair. Not a billionaire.) Or is this another random statistic that merely suggests billionaires are older people who lost their hair at fairly usual times? Either way, this isn't good news for female billionaires. Here's some better news: The number of female billionaires has gone up 50 percent in the last 20 years.
3. Be Married.
Such traditionalists, these billionaires. 87 percent of them are married. This compares to only 49 percent of the US population. It's well known that marriage helps men live longer and be happier. There again, this analysis doesn't makes clear how many times these billionaires have been married. They have been reproductive, though. 63 percent of them have three or more children. Well, they can afford it.
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CEO Mark Zuckerberg gestures while delivering the keynote address at the Facebook F8 Developer Conference Wednesday, March 25, 2015, in San Francisco. (AP Photo/Eric Risberg)
FILE-In this Thursday April 26, 2012, file photo, Dustin Moskovitz co-founder of the collaborative software company Asana, poses outside of his office in San Francisco. Facebook co-founder Dustin Moskovitz has been selling 150,000 shares of Facebook stock a day out of the hundreds of millions that he owns. So far, he has shed 1.35 million shares for proceeds of $26.2 million, at prices ranging from $18.79 to $20.08. (AP Photo/Eric Risberg)
Billionaire Elizabeth Holmes, founder and chief executive officer of Theranos Inc., speaks to the media as she arrives at a state dinner hosted by U.S. President Barack Obama and U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama in honor of Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe at the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Tuesday, April 28, 2015. Prime Minister Shinzo Abe goes before the U.S. Congress on Wednesday to present Japan as a stalwart ally that's willing to play a bigger military role in Asia, a message likely to be embraced in Washington and greeted with suspicion in Seoul and Beijing. Photographer: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Nathan Blecharczyk, co-founder and chief technology officer of Airbnb Inc., speaks during the 2015 Bloomberg Technology Conference in San Francisco, California, U.S., on Monday, June 15, 2015. The conference gathers global business leaders, tech influencers, top investors and entrepreneurs to shine a spotlight on how coders and coding are transforming business and fueling disruption across all industries. Photographer: David Paul Morris/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Brian Chesky, chief executive officer of Airbnb Inc., speaks during an interview at a media event in Johannesburg, South Africa, on Monday, July 27, 2015. Airbnb is hoping to spread its unique brand of hospitality throughout Africa. Photographer: Waldo Swiegers/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Airbnb online accommodation provider co-founder and Chief Product Officer, Joe Gebbia announces to the media their partnership with the Brazilian Olympic Committee for the Rio 2016 Olympic Games at the headquarters of the Brazilian Olympic Committee in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on March 27, 2015. AFP PHOTO / YASUYOSHI CHIBA (Photo credit should read YASUYOSHI CHIBA/AFP/Getty Images)
PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 26: Tatiana Casiraghi attends the Christian Dior show as part of Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2015 on January 26, 2015 in Paris, France. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 22: Snapchat co-founder and CEO Evan Spiegel speaks during the iHeartMedia Soundfront at iHeartMedia Headquarters on April 22, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)
Bobby Murphy, chief technology officer and co-founder of Snapchat Inc., speaks during a Google Inc. Cloud event in San Francisco, California, U.S., on Thursday, March 25, 2014. Google Inc. cut prices on some Internet-based services for businesses by 30 percent or more, stepping up a challenge to Amazon.com Inc. and Microsoft Corp. in cloud computing. Photographer: David Paul Morris/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Snapchat co-founders Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy attends the Time 100 Gala celebrating the Time 100 issue of the Most Influential People In The World at Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 29, 2014 in New York. AFP PHOTO / Timothy A. CLARY (Photo credit should read TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images)
Adrian Cheng, executive director of Chow Tai Fook Jewellery Group Ltd., attends the companys annual results news conference in Hong Kong, China, on Tuesday, June 18, 2013. Chow Tai Fook, the worlds largest listed jewelry chain, reported a 13 percent decline in profit on higher costs and weaker consumer spending. Photographer: Jerome Favre/Bloomberg via Getty Images
There are those who get a head start. Donald Trump, for example. But one trend over the last 20 years has been that those who attain truly exalted financial status are more likely to have done it themselves. The number of self-made billionaires has risen by 50 percent in the last 20 years. Yes, you still have hope. Especially if you're only 22.
5. Be Old.
You look at Mark Zuckerberg and think: "I could have been him." Would you really want to be? Oh, never mind. The painful truth is that over the last 20 years billionaires' average age has increased by 20 years. Think about it. We're still looking up to Warren Buffett. This statistic tells you something more, however. Something more troubling. The rich are simply getting richer. Just as Occupy Wall Street always told us. If trends continue as they are, the average billionaire in 2051 will be more than 100 years old. There, doesn't that cheer you up?