The New England Patriots might be the most attractive team in football

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It's no secret that New England Patriots head coach/Sith Lord Bill Belichick is pretty picky about who plays on his team. Over the past few years, players have been released from the Patriots for a variety of reasons, ranging from immaturity and tardiness to making fun of Tom Brady's hair or being a suspect in a homicide (though we don't really blame them for that last one).

However, there is one secret to staying on the Patriots that isn't publicized quite as much: if you want to play for this team, you need to be really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking.

Listen, we're not trying to discredit the players wearing colors other than red, white, silver and navy blue -- all we're saying is that the field within Gillette Stadium seems to be a popular hangout for extremely handsome men.

Let us present the evidence, starting with (of course) the quarterbacks:

Are the Patriots the most attractive team in football? Probably
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The New England Patriots might be the most attractive team in football

Those cheekbones! Those pearly whites! Tom Brady's chiseled mug already gets more than enough attention, but what about 24-year-old backup QB Jimmy Garoppolo? One thing is for sure, no matter when Brady retires, Patriots fans won't have to worry about having an unattractive quarterback for many, many years. 

(Photos via Getty Images)

Moving on, let's take a gander at the weapons those quarterbacks get to throw to.

This is where it starts to almost get unfair. So rugged. So classically handsome. Seriously, find us a more attractive pair of wide receivers than Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola. We dare you.

(Photos via Getty Images)

Matthew Slater and his boyish good looks also get a shout out here, since the special teams star is technically also listed as a wide receiver. Imagine he's running towards you for a hug here and pretend you don't get butterflies. 

(Photo by The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

Football wouldn't be football without the kicking, and the Patriots are just as #blessed in that area as anywhere.

Punter Ryan Allen and kicker/Patriots all-time leading scorer Stephen Gostkowski are cut from the same cloth, both athletically and appearance-wise. Don't you just want to invite these darling boys-next-door over for dinner so they can meet your mother? We sure do.

(Photos via Getty Images)

Are beards your thing? Great. Allow us to introduce you to Rob Ninkovich.

(Photo by The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

Are Super Bowl-winning interceptions your thing? Fabulous. Meet Malcolm Butler. Yes Malcom, we're looking at you.

(Photo via AP)

Is a sparkling smile the first thing you look for in a man? Or do brown eyes as deep as melted chocolate really get to you? Well, Aaron Dobson has both.

(Photo via Getty Images)

While the McCourty twins (Jason on the left, Patriot Devin on the right) might be on different teams, we imagine Jason comes to visit Devin enough that these stunners would come as a package deal.

(Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM)

Want a man who will let you play with his hair? Try LeGarrette Blount or Dont'a Hightower on for size.

(Disclaimer: We do not recommend trying to touch Dont'a or LeGarrette's hair unless you are a close friend or family member)

(Photo via Getty Images)

The Patriots will even drag you out of retirement for a year or two if you're handsome enough, like Steven Jackson.

(Photo via Getty Images)

Honorable mention goes to recently-traded Chandler Jones, who will be making Arizona that much more attractive next season.

*'I Will Always Love You' starts playing softly in the background...*

(Photo via Getty Images)

On a similar note, the 'you must be at least this attractive' rule explains some of the Patriots' recent off-season acquisitions, most notably defensive end Chris Long. Welcome, sir. 

(Photo via Getty Images)

And, of course, this list wouldn't be complete without everyone's favorite man/child/Hulk hybrid, Rob Gronkowski.

(Photo via REUTERS/Danny Moloshok)


So do we, Gronk. So do we.

There you have it, ladies and gents. If you're seeking a stud in a football uniform look no further than Foxboro, Massachusetts -- that is, unless you're not into guys who wear jewelry.

(Photo via @Patriots/Twitter)

Disagree with us? Let us know your favorite team to look at and we might delve into their roster next.

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