Just another moment you wish Judge Judy were your mom

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Judge Judy Sheindlin has been America's daytime mother for over 20 years. She's all tough love: The one who forces you to eat your vegetables and gives you a copy of A Room of One's Own and tells you never to depend on a man to get you somewhere in life, that it has to be on you, and if you want to have sex with him, that's okay, but you just have to make sure that you respect you afterwards.

Judge Judy was full of such sage advice when she sat down with Ellen DeGeneres, America's other daytime mother, today.

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Just another moment you wish Judge Judy were your mom
LOS ANGELES - APRIL 14: Judge Judy Gallery for the CBS special. Judge Judy Sheindlin stars in a one-hour primetime special that will include new cases and takes a look at how the Judge transitioned from New York Family Court Judge to 'Judge Judy,' on JUDGE JUDY PRIMETIME, Tuesday, May 20 (8:00 PM-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. (Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 05: Judge Judy Sheindlin and her husband attend the 2014 Heroes Of Hollywood Luncheon at Taglyan Cultural Complex on June 5, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES - APRIL 14: Judge Judy Gallery for the CBS special. Court will be in session when Judge Judy Sheindlin appears in a one-hour special that will showcase her unique ability to act as a true moral compass and her uncanny ability to ferret out the truth, on JUDGE JUDY PRIMETIME, Tuesday, May 20 (8:00 PM-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. (Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - NOVEMBER 13: Judge Judy Sheindlin (R) and her husband Jerry Sheindlin arrive at the 55th Annual Women's Guild Cedars-Sinai Anniversary Gala at the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons Hotel on November 13, 2012 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/WireImage)
Judge Judy Sheindlin (right) and husband during Judge Judy Sheindlin Sighting in New York City - June 9, 2007 in New York City, New York, United States. (Photo by Marcel Thomas/FilmMagic)
Judge Judy Sheindlin and husband Judge Jerry Sheindlin (Photo by Robin Platzer/FilmMagic)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 05: Judge Judy Sheindlin attends the 2014 Heroes Of Hollywood Luncheon at Taglyan Cultural Complex on June 5, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
(AUSTRALIA & NEW ZEALAND OUT)  John Shakespeare cartoon/ illo/ illustration/ toon/ artwork jeff kennet as judge judy, brought to you by coles   cbd thurs Jeff Kennett .jpg (Photo by Fairfax Media via Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 05: Judge Judy Sheindlin attends the 2014 Heroes Of Hollywood Luncheon at Taglyan Cultural Complex on June 5, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 05: Judge Judy Sheindlin attends the 2014 Heroes Of Hollywood Luncheon at Taglyan Cultural Complex on June 5, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES - APRIL 14: Judge Judy Gallery for the CBS special. Look for classic Judyisms as Judge Judy Sheindlin brings her wit and no-nonsense style of justice in a one-hour primetime special, on JUDGE JUDY PRIMETIME, Tuesday, May 20 (8:00 PM-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. (Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES - APRIL 14: Judge Judy Gallery for the CBS special. Court will be in session when Judge Judy Sheindlin appears in a one-hour special that will showcase her unique ability to act as a true moral compass and her uncanny ability to ferret out the truth, on JUDGE JUDY PRIMETIME, Tuesday, May 20 (8:00 PM-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. (Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 18: Judge Judy is seen outside 'The Today Show'on September 18, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/FilmMagic)
Los Angeles, UNITED STATES: Judge Judy Sheindlin (R), star of the US television court reality show 'Judge Judy' arrives with an unidentified guest for at the world premier of 'The Prestige,' at El Capitan Theater in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles, California, 17 October 2006. AFP PHOTO / Robyn BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)
UNITED STATES - JANUARY 23: Judge Judy Sheindlin gives kiss of approval to son Adam Levy, 38, after the republican tossed his hat into the Putnam County race for district attorney. Levy's equally proud stepdad, ex-Bronx State Supreme Court Justice Gerald Sheindlin, looks on. (Photo by Howard Earl Simmons/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 07: Judge Judy attends the Joan Rivers memorial service at Temple Emanu-El on September 7, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 05: Judge Judy Sheindlin attends the 2014 Heroes Of Hollywood Luncheon at Taglyan Cultural Complex on June 5, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
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"Women make a terrible mistake, because they usually are so desperate to nest, that they pick on zhlubs and worthless pieces of trash that they pick up in a bar, and then turn around and give them the keys to their car, invite them to move in, give them a credit card, and they're surprised one day when their car is gone, their credit card is maxed, and they're alone," she said.

Ellen replies, "That's why I don't date men."

Can they adopt us?


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