Don't worry: It's perfectly normal to get into arguments like these with your significant other every once in a while, John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington and founder of the Gottman Institute, told Business Insider.
It's what happens next that you need to watch out for, he says.
When you express your frustration over the pepper mix-up, do you listen while he explains that perhaps you didn't ever tell him what type of pepper you wanted? Do you think this over, and, when you realize that maybe he's right, do you apologize? Or do you adopt an attitude and think to yourself, What kind of an idiot doesn't know that bell peppers are for stir-fry and habaneros are for salsa?
If you find yourself in the second situation, you're likely displaying contempt for your partner, and it could be putting your relationship in jeopardy.
Contempt, a virulent mix of anger and disgust, is far more toxic than simple frustration or negativity. It involves seeing your partner as beneath you, rather than as an equal.
Gottman and University of California-Berkeley psychologist Robert Levenson found this single behavior is so powerful that they can use it — along with the negative behaviors of criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling — to predict divorce with 93% accuracy.
"Contempt," says Gottman, "is the kiss of death."
See the most shocking celebrity breakups below:
Shocking Celebrity breakups 2015
Psychologists say one behavior is the 'kiss of death' for a relationship
Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert: Country's power couple shocked fans everywhere by announcing their divorce in July after 4 years of marriage. But don't worry - Miranda is showing no signs of being brokenhearted. She's making new music and recently bought herself some very expensive goodies from Tiffany's to celebrate her CMA nominations!
Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting
The "Big Bang Theory" actress dropped the bombshell in September after just 21 months of marriage. Sources say that a difference in lifestyles was to blame for the breakup. Cuoco has since moved on from the tragic split, as is evident by her stunning looks on every red carpet she hits!
(Photo by Michael Tran/FilmMagic)
Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale
The former "No Doubt" singer and Rossdale announced their shocking split in August after 13 years of marriage. Both cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their divorce and have asked for joint custody of their 3 children. The news is a shock to many fans, especially because the 45-year-old admitted in May that it's a "miracle" they are still together because she believed she was definitely way out of Rossdale's league when he was younger.
Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid
The gorgeous supermodel and former "Jonas Brothers" member called it quits after a whirlwind romance. Joe didn't seem take the breakup news too well -- he unfollowed his former flame on Instagram after reports surfaced that Gigi might've been getting cozy with Zayn Malik
(Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Global Lyme Alliance)
Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox
The sultry actress announced her split after 5 years of marriage from the former "90210" actor in August. TMZ reports the divorce is "amicable," but without a prenup in place it may get messy. While Fox seems to be holding it together, Green has had a hard time letting go - he was spotted out and about recently with his wedding ring still on.
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy
Yes, puppets have feelings too! This high-profile couple's devastating breakup after 40 years together was a shocker to everyone. The pair announced in a Facebook post that they will end their romantic relationship but will continue to work professionally. It seems as if both have moved on - especially Miss Piggy, who has been spotted canoodling with some very good lookin' men. You go girl!
(Photo by Desiree Navarro/WireImage)
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
And another couple bites the dust! Ben and Jennifer announced their devastating split back in June. Cheating rumors involving the family's nanny surfaced - and the head-scratching photos that hit the tabloids didn't help Ben's cause. These days, the two are trying to put up a united front from their children, including allegedly attending couples therapy. But as of right now, the divorce is very much still on. R.I.P 'Bennifer'
Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian
After a very tumultuous relationship, the oldest Kardashian sister bid farewell to Disick after first meeting in 2006. A pic of Disick in early July looking cozy with former flame Chloe Bartoli in Monaco fueled cheating rumors. Days later, Kourtney reportedly dumped Scott. These days, the mother of three is looking hot as ever and she's not shy about posting it on Instagram! Work it, Kourt!
(Photo by David Becker/WireImage)
Charlize Theron and Sean Penn
This couple definitely takes the title for weirdest breakup. The stunning Australian actress reportedly "ghosted" Penn back in June. Theron cut off all contact with Penn and left many text messages and calls (some say hundreds) unanswered. But it's not like Theron can claim she lost her phone, she was photographed by the paparazzi all over Cannes! While Sean got the hint eventually, we wouldn't recommend the same tactic with your next breakup.
(Photo by Oleg Nikishin/ Kommersant Photo via Getty Images)
Tiger Woods and Lindsay Vonn
This unbelievably athletic couple may have started the domino effect of shocking splits this summer. Vonn and Woods announced their breakup in mid-May following a three-year relationship. Contrary to what some may think, Tiger's cheating had nothing to do with the amicable split. The Olympic skier revealed in a Facebook post that their "incredibly hectic schedules" led to the decision to breakup.
(Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Halle Berry and Oliver Martinez
The 49-year-old actress made headlines when she announced her divorce from her third husband after just two years of marriage. Sparks flew after they met on the set of the movie "Dark Tide" in 2010, but sources said the pair had struggled for some time.
(Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne
Things may have gotten "Complicated" with Avril and Chad.The Canadian singer confirmed her divorce with the Nickleback frontman in a very emotional Instagram post in early September. While rumors of an alleged separation haunted the couple since they tied the knot in 2013, fans everywhere were still in disbelief. We can only hope this breakup with inspire Avril to produce some new music, because we are still proudly bumpin' "Sk8r Boi."
(Photo by Jeff Daly/Invision/AP)
Yolanda and David Foster
Gigi Hadid isn't the only one in the family that experienced heartbreak in 2015. Her parents, Yolanda and David, suddenly announced their divorce after just four years of marriage.
(Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
Reba McEntire and Narvel Blackstock
By the time news broke of Reba and Narvel's divorce, people everywhere were asking: "IS LOVE EVEN REAL ANYMORE?!" The country legend and her producer hubby split in August after a whopping 26 years together! But Reba isn't one to dwell on the past - she has her career to keep her plenty busy, including the release of her new album "Love Somebody."
(Photo by Larry Busacca/ACM2015/Getty Images for dcp)
Perrie Edwards and Zayn Malik
Zayn caused a fan meltdown after he announced his decision to leave "One Direction" in March - coincidentally, after pictures emerged of him apparently close to a woman that wasn't his fiancee, Perrie. So it was a shock to many when the heartthrob called off their engagement in August. But don't worry girls, Zayn seems like he has moved on after being spotted with stunning Burberry model Neelam Gill.
(Photos by PA)
Amy Poehler and Nick Kroll
The couple's busy schedules was to blame for the breakup in September after two years of perfect bliss. Upcoming projects consistently got in the way of Kroll and Poehler's relationship and they just couldn't make it work.
(Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images for The Leukemia & Lymphona Society)
Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt
The "Mad Men" star announced his divorce to Westfeldt over Labor Day weekend after 18 years of marriage! While we were completely blindsided by their split, we can't help but assume that Hamm's recent stint in rehab may have had something to do with it.
(Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)
Sienna Miller and Tom Sturridge
The British duo called it quits after a four-year relationship. Sources close to the couple claim the couple were in a bit of a rough patch for awhile, especially with the demands of their hectic schedule. Sienna was recently photographed without her signature blonde locks - we can only hope the drastic change has nothing to do with her devastating split!
(Photo by David M. Benett/Getty Images)
Amanda Seyfried and Justin Long
The couple announced their sudden split after just two years of dating. There were many things we loved about this perfect pair, but we'll most definitely miss how adorable they looked on red carpets together
(Photo by Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic)
Patrick Dempsey and Jillian Fink
It was quite a year for Dempsey. We didn't think that there would be a bigger blow than his iconic character getting killed off "Grey's Anatomy," but his separation with Fink may take the cake. The hairstylist filled for divorce after 15 years of marriage, but reports have spotted the duo out and about together in recent weeks. Could a reconciliation be in the future for these former lovebirds?
(AP Photos/Peter Kramer)
Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger
The singer and Arnold Schwarzenegger's son hit a rough patch following his wild Mexico spring break trip. The couple split after just six months of dating -- but from what we can see on her Instagram, seems like Cyrus is doing just fine!
(Photo by Lester Cohen/WireImage)
Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
We're still healing from the unexpected split of the longtime lovebirds. The duo went on a break earlier this year due to their busy schedules, but ultimately decided to breakup.
(AP Photo/Christophe Ena)
Ariana Grande and Big Sean
The musical couple seemed so in love with their steamy on-stage performances, so it was quite a shock when they announced their breakup in April. The surprising reason? Work. A source revealed their busy touring schedules would keep them apart over the next year, but the two remain close friends.
(Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
Britney Spears and Charlie Ebersol
With many high-profile relationships in the past that have failed, we were really hoping Spears found her match in Ebersol! The couple ended their picture-perfect relationship after just eight months of dating.
(Photo by Omar Vega/Invision/AP)
Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse
The gorgeous pair made their split public in March after two years of dating. A source said Cooper dumped Waterhouse because she "wasn't supportive of his acting career." With all the projects on their plates, both seem to be doing just fine!
(Photo by John Shearer/Invision/AP)
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The striking 93% figure comes from a 14-year study of 79 couples living across the US Midwest (21 of whom divorced during the study period) published in 2002. Since then, decades of research into marriage and divorce have lent further support to the idea linking divorce with specific negative behaviors.
One recent study of 373 newlywed couples, for example, found that couples who yelled at each other, showed contempt for each other, or simply began to disengage from conflict within the first year of marriage were more likely to divorce, even as far as 16 years down the road.
Why are couples who exhibit this one behavior more likely to split up?
It comes down to a superiority complex.
Feeling smarter than, better than, or more sensitive than your significant other means you're not only less likely see his or her opinions as valid, but, more important, you're far less willing to try to put yourself in his or her shoes to try to see a situation from his or her perspective.
Picture a resonance chamber, suggests Gottman, with each person in the relationship a source of his or her own musical (or emotional) vibrations. If each partner is closed off to the other person's vibes (or emotions) and more interested in unleashing their own feelings of disgust and superiority, these negative vibrations will resound against one another, escalating a bad situation "until something breaks," Gottman says.
If you've noticed yourself or your partner exhibiting this type of behavior, don't despair — it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed.
Being aware that you're doing something that could negatively affect your partner is the first step to actively combating it. If you can figure out how to avoid the behavior or replace it with a more positive one, you'll likely greatly improve the relationship — and increase your chances of staying together for longer.