The 9 most Justin Bieber quotes from Justin Bieber's Billboard cover story

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Justin Bieber Responds to Nude Pic Scandal, Talks Dad's Reaction & Names His Pen


The Justin Bieber media blitz for Purpose has been purposely entertaining. Already we've seen him use taco metaphors to explain religion, walk out on an interview he didn't understand, and school off-beat fans on how to clap. Now he's got a new cover story in Billboard that's Justin Bieber at his most Bieber-y. We learn that Biebs, like most of us, has been glued to "the Justin Bieber Show" (a reality show that somehow doesn't already exist) and is sick of it. He's on a journey to find himself (and Jesus), and with that comes a lot of quirky introspection. Here are the nine most Bieber moments from his interview.

1.He lives in an alternate (and incorrect) reality where more people cared about him crying at the VMAs than "Miley, what's good?"
"Asked why he thinks Nicki Minaj's beef with Miley Cyrus was the bigger VMAs story, he balks, 'I honestly thought my crying was more talked about.'"

2. Biebs hasn't a clue who Bette Midler is, even though he's on her radar.
"'This Britt Meddler,' says Justin, unintentionally mangling the stage-and-screen legend's name. 'I don't even know who that is, honestly. I wanted to immediately say 'Who is this lady?', but then I'm just fueling this negativity. I do feel the photo was an invasion of my privacy. I felt super violated. My dad made light of it, but I don't think that's sick and twisted. It was funny. Dads are going to be dads.'"

3. He's a shower, not a grower.
"I was scared. I first saw the one with the black bar over it. I was like, 'Oh, my God. I just got out of the water. Shrinkage is real.' " So, er, was it? "No, no. That's as big as she gets."

4. His dinner etiquette is a work in progress.
"At Mastro's, Bieber knows what he wants — filet mignon and a glass of cabernet — and orders it like a swanky person in the movies would, without opening a menu. But he's confused by the waiter reaching out to place a napkin in his lap, pausing a beat before scooting his chair back and explaining, 'Sorry — I'm not fancy, bro.' When he samples my meal — seared ahi, which he has never tried before — he picks it up with his hands. The taste of rye whiskey in my cocktail makes him wince."

5. But he still dines like Don Corleone.
"The moment the star sits down, the restaurant seamlessly switches over to an all-Bieber soundtrack. He's used to the universe eagerly morphing to his presence. 'It's a sign of respect,' he says of the restaurant music like a mafia don."

6. He's had his dreams of being a comedian crushed.
"He decries the 'fake fantasy world' celebrity creates — yes-people convincing him, 'like, oh, everything I say is funny. I must be the funniest dude ever. Only to find out, man, my jokes suck.'"

7. He thinks Selena Gomez may have Taylor Swifted him on Revival.
"He still hasn't listened to her new album because 'I know I had a lot of play in that one. I don't know what she's saying about me.'"

8. The Bible is super confusing for him, too.
"I had all these questions and things were not adding up. 'Well, why is this, then? How did all those animals fit on Noah's Ark, then?'"

9. If you're staying at the same Beverly Hills hotel he's been living at for a year, he might just treat you to a private Beatles performance.
"[His day] might end with him sneaking down from his room to the hotel lounge to play the piano while people drink. Like the new Bieber himself, what his go-to song lacks in subtlety, it makes up for in earnest vulnerability: 'Let It Be' by The Beatles."

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The 9 most Justin Bieber quotes from Justin Bieber's Billboard cover story
FILE - In this Oct. 8, 2009 file photo, singer Justin Bieber appears on the NBC "Today" television program in New York. New York police shut down a mall appearance by teen pop singer Justin Bieber after thousands of young girls showed up and got a little too wild. Nassau County police say girls and adults in the crowd of nearly 3,000 started pushing and shoving as they waited for the 15-year-old sensation to arrive Friday, Nov. 20, 2009 at the Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City, N.Y. (AP Photo/Richard Drew, File)
Singer Justin Bieber tips his cap during the fourth quarter of the New York Knicks' 93-84 win over the Portland Trail Blazers in their NBA basketball game at Madison Square Garden in New York, Monday, Dec. 7, 2009. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)
Pop star Justin Bieber performs at the California Mid-State Fair in Paso Robles, Calif., Wednesday, July 21, 2010. (Michael A. Mariant/via AP Images)
Usher Raymond, left, and Justin Bieber arrive at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday, Sept. 12, 2010 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)
Justin Bieber performs in Times Square during New Year's Eve celebrations, Saturday, Dec. 31, 2011, in New York. (AP Photo/Charles Sykes)
Justin Bieber performs during the 93.3 FLZ Jingle Ball at the Tampa Bay Times Forum on Sunday, Dec. 9, 2012, in Tampa, Fla. (Photo by John Davisson/Invision/AP)
Justin Bieber seen at the World Premiere of Open Road's "Justin Bieber's Believe" presented by Teen Vogue and sponsored by Clearasil, on Wednesday, Dec. 18, 2013 in Los Angeles. (Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Open Road Films/AP Images)
Justin Bieber arrives at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday Aug. 28, 2011, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)
Justin Bieber talks to Rihanna during the second half of the NBA basketball All-Star Game on Sunday, Feb. 20, 2011, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)
ARCHIV: Selena Gomez, left, and Justin Bieber arrive at the 39th Annual American Music Awards on Sunday, Nov. 20, 2011 in Los Angeles. Die Trennung von Teenieschwarm Justin Bieber und seiner Freundin, der Schauspielerin Selena Gomez, wird bekannt. Foto: Chris Pizzello/AP/dapd
Justin Bieber, left, and host Will Smith get slimed after Bieber accepts the award for favorite male singer onstage at Nickelodeon's 25th Annual Kids' Choice Awards on Saturday, March 31, 2012 in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)
Canadian pop megastar Justin Bieber (C) plays basketball with a young survivor of Super Typhoon Haiyan in Palo, Leyte province on December 10, 2013. Pop megastar Justin Bieber sang to and played basketball with young survivors of the Philippines' deadliest typhoon on December 10 after he flew into the disaster zone to boost an international relief effort. AFP PHOTO (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)
FILE - In this March 19, 2013, file photo, singer Justin Bieber performs during a concert at Bercy Arena in Paris. Canadian police say the pop star has been charged Tuesday, Sept. 2, 2014, with dangerous driving and assault after a collision between a minivan and an ATV led to a physical altercation in southwestern Ontario. Ontario Provincial Police say that the incident happened Friday afternoon, Aug. 29, near Bieber's hometown of Stratford and that he was released on a promise to appear in court Sept. 29. (AP Photo/Francois Mori, File)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 27: The winner of Champ of Charity singer Justin Bieber (L) and singer Cody Simpson onstage at the 2014 Young Hollywood Awards brought to you by Samsung Galaxy at The Wiltern on July 27, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. The Young Hollywood Awards will air on Monday, July 28 8/7c on The CW. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images for Variety)
Singer Justin Bieber speaks to photographers as he arrives at the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS benefit at the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc, during the 67th international film festival, in Cap d'Antibes, southern France, Thursday, May 22, 2014. (Photo by Joel Ryan/Invision/AP)
Justin Bieber arrives at the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS benefit at the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc, during the 67th international film festival, in Cap d'Antibes, southern France, Thursday, May 22, 2014. (Photo by Joel Ryan/Invision/AP)
File- In this Dec. 18, 2013 file photo, singer Justin Bieber takes a "selfie" with a fan at a premiere in Los Angeles. The Los Angeles Sheriff's Department says it is searching Justin Bieber's home for evidence in an egg-tossing vandalism case involving the pop star on Thursday, Jan. 9, 2014. (AP Photo/Dan Steinberg, Invision)
FILE - In this Dec. 18, 2013 file photo, Singer Justin Bieber arrives at the premiere of the feature film "Justin Bieber's Believe" at Regal Cinemas L.A. Live in Los Angeles. A security guard and driver for Bieber have been arrested near Atlanta and charged with stealing a photographer's camera on Tuesday, Feb. 25, 2014. (Photo by Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP, File)
Justin Bieber arrives at the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS benefit at the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc, during the 67th international film festival, in Cap d'Antibes, southern France, Thursday, May 22, 2014. (Photo by Joel Ryan/Invision/AP)
In this Jan. 23, 2014 video frame grab released by the Miami Beach Police Department, shows singer Justin Bieber, right, taking to R&B singer Khalil Amir Sharieff , left, while both were under arrest at the Miami Beach police in Miami Beach, Fla. The Miami-Dade county prosecutors released about 10 hours of video, Wednesday, Feb. 26, 2014. Bieber pleaded not guilty to driving under the influence, resisting arrest and driving with an invalid license. (AP Photo/Miami Beach Police Dept. HO)
The "Baby" singer headed straight to the salon for a new makeover ... this time going blonde! (Instagram)
LOS ANGELES, CA - AUGUST 23: Justin Bieber attends a VMA Pre-Party hosted by Chris Brown & Pia Mia featuring Bera on August 23, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Araya Diaz/Getty Images)
Singer Justin Bieber, center, takes a selfie with a young fan as he watches the Los Angeles Clippers play the Oklahoma City Thunder with his mother Pattie Mallette in the second half of Game 4 of the Western Conference semifinal NBA basketball playoff series, Sunday, May 11, 2014, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)
FILE - This Jan. 23, 2014 file photo made available by the Miami Beach Police Dept., shows Justin Bieber at the police station in Miami Beach, Fla. Bieber claimed after a shaky sobriety test following his Jan. 23 arrest that he was suffering from a hairline fracture in his right foot and made condescending comments about enjoying his wealth, according to a Miami Beach police document released Tuesday, March 18. Bieber, who has pleaded not guilty to driving under the influence and other charges, also told officers he was not drag racing in a rented Lamborghini along with R&B singer Khalil Amir Sharieff, who was driving a Ferrari when both were stopped. (AP Photo/Miami Beach Police Dept., File)
Pop singer Justin Bieber, left, is escorted out of the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center, Thursday Jan. 23, 2014 in Doral, Fla., following his arrest earlier in the day in Miami Beach. Bieber was arrested and charged with driving under the influence and resisting arrest after police said they saw him speeding down a residential street in a yellow Lamborghini. Officers say he had an expired license, was initially not cooperative when he was pulled over, and smelled of alcohol. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)
FILE - This May 11, 2014 file photo shows singer Justin Bieber, attending a Los Angeles Clippers game in Los Angeles. Bieber pleaded no contest on Wednesday, July 9, 2014 to misdemeanor vandalism for throwing eggs at a neighbor's Calabasas home in January and was sentenced to two years probation. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill, FIle )
These police booking mugs made available by the Miami Dade County Corrections Department show pop star Justin Bieber, Thursday, Jan. 23, 2014. Bieber and singer Khalil were arrested early Thursday for allegedly drag-racing on a Miami Beach Street. Police say Bieber has been charged with resisting arrest without violence in addition to drag racing and DUI. Police also say the singer told authorities he had consumed alcohol, smoked marijuana and taken prescription drugs. (AP Photo/Miami Dade County Jail)
Los Angeles County Sheriff's leave "The Oaks of Calabasas" property, where the residence of the pop star, Justin Bieber was searched by police in Calabasas, Calif., on Tuesday, Jan 14, 2014. Detectives searched Bieber's home looking for surveillance footage that might serve as evidence the pop star was involved in an egg-tossing vandalism case that caused thousands of dollars in damage to a neighbor's home, an official said Tuesday. Roughly a dozen investigators searched the home and arrested one member of the singer's entourage on suspicion of cocaine possession. (AP Photo/Nick Ut)
A Miami Beach, Fla., police prisoner transport van leaves the Miami Beach Police building believed to be transporting pop singer Justin Bieber and R&B singer known as Khalil after their arrest, Thursday, Jan. 23, 2014 in Miami Beach. Bieber and Khalil both face drag-racing and driving under the influence charges. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)
NEW YORK, NY - JAN 17: General view of a Justin Bieber for Calvin Klein Billboard located on Houston Street on January 17, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Tomas/IMAGES/Getty Images)
LAS VEGAS, NV - MARCH 15: Singer Justin Bieber arrives at Omnia Nightclub at Caesars Palace to celebrate his birthday on the nightclub's opening weekend on March 15, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images)
Justin Bieber appears on stage at the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber at Sony Pictures Studios on Saturday, March 14, 2015, in Culver City, Calif. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)
Canadian singer Justin Bieber poses for photographers, upon arrival at the Calvin Klein promotional event, in Hong Kong, Thursday, June 11, 2015. (AP Photo/Vincent Yu)
Justin Bieber arrives at The Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute benefit gala celebrating "China: Through the Looking Glass" on Monday, May 4, 2015, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
LAS VEGAS, NV - May 2: pictured as Justin Bieber hosts REHAB Pool party at Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, NV on May 2, 2015. © RTNEKP / MediaPunch***HOUSE COVERAGE***/IPX
CANNES, FRANCE - NOVEMBER 07: Singer Justin Bieber attends the 17th NRJ Music Awards ceremony at Palais des Festivals on November 7, 2015 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 18: Justin Bieber and Corey Gamble are seen in Beverly Hills, Ca on January 18, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Light Brigade/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
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