On Ask a Stupid Question Day, let's ask Bryce Harper some stupid questions!

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Harper, Papelbon Fight in Dugout


By JOHN DORN

Today -- for some reason -- is Ask a Stupid Question Day. Somehow, this is not June 13 -- the anniversary of a Toronto television reporter asking then-19-year-old Bryce Harper which beer he considered his favorite.

The response that question elicited has gone down in meme history. "That's a clown question, bro" will live on forever -- in numerous contexts -- whether Harper ever intended on it or not.

So today, we took the time to (pretend to) ask Bryce some pretty dumb questions. His responses might surprise you.


Hey, Bryce, thanks for taking the time to speak with us today. How are you feeling?



Ah, right. Sorry. Guess you're a bit disappointed these days. Possibly because your Nationals were projected to contend for a World Series and are now eliminated from making the playoffs?



Yeah, that one was kind of rhetorical. But, to make matters worse, the closer your team went out and acquired at the trade deadline decided it was a good idea to choke you in your own dugout. Is Jonathan Papelbon really a guy that can stick around in Washington?



Didn't think so. But a bunch of MLB players have rushed to Papelbon's side since the incident. They're saying you need to be taught a lesson for not hustling out a popup, even in meaningless games. Talk about how much you've learned in the time since Papelbon grabbed you by your neck in front of thousands of people.



You're right. That doesn't seem like a very effective way to impart wisdom on a teammate. But let's look to the positives. Once the season finally comes to an end, you're almost a shoo-in as the National League MVP. Think any dark horse candidate can swoop in and steal the title? Zack Greinke? Yoenis Cespedes?



Indeed. A pitcher winning a second-straight MVP has never happened in either league, and Cespedes has barely played 50 games in the National League. Looks like you have the thing locked up! Any idea what type of beer you'll celebrate with?



Oh, come on. You knew that one was coming. Anyway, we wish you a healthy rest of the season and good luck next year. One last question though: Chances you cut your hair any time soon?



Seems about right. Thanks again for answering these stupid questions.


See photos of Bryce Harper throughout his career:

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Bryce Harper through his career
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On Ask a Stupid Question Day, let's ask Bryce Harper some stupid questions!
In this photo taken April 30, 2010, Bryce Harper plays with College of Southern Nevada Coyotes baseball team in Henderson, Nev. Bryce Harper's story book tale is nearly complete as major league baseball's amateur draft approaches, one year and 29 home runs after Sports Illustrated pegged the teen as the LeBron James of the diamond. (AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)
In this photo taken April 30, 2010, Bryce Harper plays with College of Southern Nevada Coyotes baseball team in Henderson, Nev. Bryce Harper's story book tale is nearly complete as major league baseball's amateur draft approaches, one year and 29 home runs after Sports Illustrated pegged the teen as the LeBron James of the diamond. (AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)
Baseball player Bryce Harper smiles during an interview in Newport Beach, Calif., Monday, June 7, 2010. The Washington Nationals selected junior college slugger Bryce Harper with the No. 1 overall pick in the baseball draft Monday night. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)
Bryce Harper, smiles, at a news conference where the Washington Nationals basetball team introduced him as their first overall selection in the 2010 First-Year Player Draft, at Nationals Park in Washington Thursday, Aug. 26, 2010.(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Washington Nationals' Ryan Zimmerman, left, shakes hands with Bryce Harper at a news conference where the Nationals introduced Harper as their first overall selection in the 2010 First-Year Player Draft, at Nationals Park in Washington Thursday, Aug. 26, 2010. Harper agreed to a $9.9 million, five-year deal with the baseball club last week. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Washington Nationals right fielder Bryce Harper makes his way to the batting cages during a spring training baseball workout Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2011, in Viera, Fla. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)
Washington Nationals right fielder Bryce Harper during a spring training baseball game against the New York Mets Tuesday, March 1, 2011, in Viera, Fla. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)
FILE - This May 25, 2011 file photo shows Hagerstown Suns center fielder and Washington Nationals top draft pick Bryce Harper, warming up before a minor league baseball game in Hagerstown, Md. He's got a major-league arm, a powerful swing and is very competitive. Everything else is a work in progress for an 18-year-old who, in another world, would right now be rehashing tales from his senior prom. (AP Photo/Timothy Jacobsen, File)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper stretches during the team's first official full squad workout at spring training baseball, Saturday, Feb. 25, 2012, in Viera, Fla. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)
Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper is unable to make the catch on a ball hit by Houston Astros' Brian Bixler in the eighth inning of a spring training baseball game, Sunday, March 4, 2012, in Viera, Fla. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper reacts after scoring on a game-winning, two-run home run by Ian Desmond during the ninth inning of a baseball game against the Arizona Diamondbacks, Wednesday, May 2, 2012, in Washington. The Nationals won 5-4. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)
In this May 27, 2012, file photo, Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper (34) follows through with a solo home run in the eighth inning of a baseball game against the Atlanta Braves in Atlanta. (AP Photo/John Bazemore, File)
WASHINGTON, DC OCTOBER, 10: Washington Nationals center fielder Bryce Harper (34) wears red contact lenses during game three of the NLDS on Oct. 8, 2012 in Washington, DC (Photo by Jonathan Newton / The Washington Post via Getty Images)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper, right, reacts after crossing home plate on a solo home run, next to St. Louis Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina in the third inning of Game 5 of the National League division baseball series on Friday, Oct. 12, 2012, in Washington. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)
Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper runs to the dugout during the fourth inning of an exhibition spring training baseball game against the Miami Marlins on Saturday, March 9, 2013, in Viera, Fla. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
Washington Nationals left fielder Bryce Harper (34) hold up his National League Rookie of the Year trophy before the opening day baseball game against the Miami Marlins in Washington, on Monday, April 1, 2013. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper loosens up in the on deck circle in the first inning of a baseball game against the Cincinnati Reds, Saturday, April 6, 2013, in Cincinnati. (AP Photo/Al Behrman)
National League's Bryce Harper, of the Washington Nationals, hits his first home run during the MLB All-Star baseball Home Run Derby, on Monday, July 15, 2013 in New York. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)
PHOENIX, AZ - SEPTEMBER 29: Bryce Harper #34 of the Washington Nationals watches from the dugout during the MLB game against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field on September 29, 2013 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Diamondbacks defeated the Nationals 3-2. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Washington Nationals left fielder Bryce Harper practices bunting during a spring training baseball workout, Sunday, Feb. 23, 2014, in Kissimmiee, Fla. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper gestures as he celebrates his home run against the Milwaukee Brewers during the ninth inning of a baseball game, Friday, July 18, 2014, in Washington. The Brewers won 4-2. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)
Washington Nationals starting pitcher Gio Gonzalez, left, and left fielder Bryce Harper react in the dugout during the eighth inning of a baseball game against the Chicago Cubs at Nationals Park, Saturday, July 5, 2014, in Washington. The Nationals won 13-0. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper slides into third on a hit by Ian Desmond during the second inning of a baseball game against the Milwaukee Brewers, Sunday, July 20, 2014, in Washington. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)
Washington Nationals left fielder Bryce Harper (34) makes a sliding catch to retire Atlanta Braves' Chris Johnson in the fourth inning of a baseball game Sunday, Aug. 10, 2014 in Atlanta. (AP Photo/John Bazemore)
Washington Nationals Bryce Harper warms up before a baseball game against the Arizona Diamondbacks on Thursday, Aug. 21, 2014, in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
Washington Nationals Bryce Harper celebrates after scoring on a solo home run in the seventh inning against the San Francisco Giants during Game 4 of baseball's NL Division Series in San Francisco, Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2014. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper adjusts his cap while posing for a photographer during the team's photo day at their spring training baseball facility, Sunday, March 1, 2015, in Viera, Fla. (AP Photo/David Goldman)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper hits a three-run home run during the seventh inning in a baseball game against the San Diego Padres, Sunday, May 17, 2015, in San Diego. (AP Photo/Gregory Bull)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper slides safely into home on a double by Ryan Zimmerman during the fifth inning of a baseball game against the Colorado Rockies at Nationals Park, Saturday, Aug. 8, 2015, in Washington. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper walks through the dugout in the third inning of a baseball game against the Cincinnati Reds, Sunday, May 31, 2015, in Cincinnati. The Reds won 8-2. (AP Photo/John Minchillo)
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