People share what it's like to date someone with depression

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Having depression is a dark, frustrating disease that often hurts people's confidence and vitality. What many don't acknowledge, however, is the effect depression can have on those who love and care about the people living with it. When a person's boyfriend or girlfriend suffers from depression, that person often accumulates just as much stress as the person with depression. It's so hard to see the people they love fall into such dark states and to feel helpless and worried while it happens. Several boyfriends and girlfriends of people with depression took to Whisper, the popular app that provides an anonymous platform for people to share their most honest thoughts, to share how much their loved ones' depression affects their confidence, health and overall dispositions.

It's tough to find a balance between helping the person you're dating and helping yourself:
I know it's selfish but my girlfriend's depression is hard on me. It affects my mood a lot and takes a lot of energy to stay cheery for her, especially when she's down because I can't be with her.

Depression can cause huge problems for even the most compatible couples:
I love my girlfriend so much that it kills me to watch her depression tear us apart.

It takes a particular type of person to be able to help someone with depression without it affecting their mental health as well:
My boyfriend has clinical depression and when he's sad, so am I. I don't think I'm strong enough to date him.

It's easy to say someone isn't herself during an episode, but people are too complicated to compartmentalize in that way:
My girlfriend has depression. I'm trying to be supportive but it hurts so much to just not matter to her some days. I miss the old her.

While depression isn't contagious, it can cause stress for those close to people with it:
My boyfriend is depressed and I think it's making me depressed also

It can make significant others feel helpless and sometimes even at fault:
Even though my girlfriend has depression and she sometimes can't help it I always blame myself when she gets upset and I don't know why.

It sometimes feels like you're competing with your significant other's depression:
I am completely in love with my boyfriend but I get scared I'll lose him to his depression sometimes.

While love certainly means a lot, it's not always enough to keep a relationship safe and healthy:
My boyfriend has depression.  I love him, but it's hard to be with someone who struggles with a mental illness every day.

Those who refuse to get help are the hardest to try to help:
My Bf has depression. He's so insecure and lashes out at any and everything. His anger is becoming unbearable.  Worst part is he doesn't see it taking over his life and isnt going to get help.

Depression can hide people's greatest qualities and strengths:
My boyfriend is depressed and I don't know how to help him.  It's killing me because the strong confident man I met has disappeared.

Significant others shouldn't have to help their loved ones alone. Sometimes they need help figuring out how to help:
My girlfriend has depression. Is it wrong to push her to get help? She's just so different and it hurts me to see her hurting.

It's more pressure than many people realize and can lead to a loss of confidence:
I think I make my boyfriend's depression worse... I try so hard to make him happy and I just always mess it up.

Depression can mess with people's decision making and cause riffs in their relationships:
My boyfriend suffers from depression. He keeps going back and forth about being together. I don't know how long I can keep it up.

People feel guilty for not wanting to carry the stress and pressure of another person's depression alone:
I feel like a horrible person for saying this, but constantly trying to help my boyfriend out of his depression really stresses me out

It's important for both people in the relationship to communicate and try to do whatever's necessary to ensure the health and safety of both people involved, not just the one with depression:
My boyfriend's depression is too much to handle sometimes. I wish I could always stay positive for him and not get frustrated.

For more depression confessions, ​check out Whisper.

Watch this video to learn more about living with depression:

Living with Depression

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