Confessions of women who stand by their cheating spouses

Updated

There's nothing simple about infidelity. Given the pop culture and media coverage regarding the topic (Lifetime movies about adultery and celebrity cheating scandals in the tabloids) it's easy to assume that if husbands cheated, women would leave them. However, the predicament isn't quite so black and white.

In light of the recent Ashley Madison hack revealing the information of many cheating spouses, Anna Duggar, whose husband Josh Duggar was one of the 32 million names released by the hackers, stated that she will not leave her husband despite his infidelity. In fact, she blames herself for not helping him better cope with and address his issues.

While many women have criticized Anna for her decision to forgive her husband and remain married to him, others have taken to Whisper, the popular app that provides an anonymous platform for people to share their most honest thoughts, to share why they, like Anna, decided to stay with their cheating husbands.

Some women stay with their cheating husbands for religious reasons.

My husband cheated on me and I could feel in my heart that god wanted me to forgive him. This has caused my husband to start believing in god too :)
My husband cheated on me and I could feel in my heart that god wanted me to forgive him. This has caused my husband to start believing in god too :)


Others desperately cling to the hope that their husbands will change.

My husband cheats on me but I stay because I keep hoping he will change and want to keep my family.
My husband cheats on me but I stay because I keep hoping he will change and want to keep my family.


Cheating may cause trust issues, but that doesn't mean they can't be worked out.

My husband cheated and now I have all types of trust issues, but I want to work things out...
My husband cheated and now I have all types of trust issues, but I want to work things out...


For some, forgiveness brings a sense of strength and invigoration.

I forgave my husband for cheating on me...I feel so much better now
I forgave my husband for cheating on me...I feel so much better now


Others fear being alone.

My husband cheated on me but I have no one left so I stayed.
My husband cheated on me but I have no one left so I stayed.


Staying with a cheating spouse isn't always the answer, either. It's important to think about whether or not you can move on and have a healthy relationship.

My husband cheated on me 3 years ago and I chose to stay with him but I just can't get over it.
My husband cheated on me 3 years ago and I chose to stay with him but I just can't get over it.


Women may surprise even themselves when deciding to stay with cheating spouses.

My husband cheated on me TWICE that I know of and I stayed. I NEVER thought I would be that kind of woman.
My husband cheated on me TWICE that I know of and I stayed. I NEVER thought I would be that kind of woman.


Sometimes they just need time to figure out what to do.

Ever since I found out my husband cheated on me, I can't stand to look at him. But I'm not ready to leave him yet.
Ever since I found out my husband cheated on me, I can't stand to look at him. But I'm not ready to leave him yet.


Unfortunately, though, a cheating spouse can ruin a wife's confidence.

I'm very insecure about myself in my marriage since my husband cheated on me.
I'm very insecure about myself in my marriage since my husband cheated on me.


Dependence can be extremely difficult to break.

I know my husband  cheated on me, but I am  so dependent on him  that I can't divorce him. No wonder he always wanted me to be a housewife.
I know my husband cheated on me, but I am so dependent on him that I can't divorce him. No wonder he always wanted me to be a housewife.


Perhaps love really is strong enough to get people through even the worst mistakes.

Even though my husband cheated on me I still love him. He's willing to try and make things work and I just want to take it slow because I'm afraid of being hurt by him again.
Even though my husband cheated on me I still love him. He's willing to try and make things work and I just want to take it slow because I'm afraid of being hurt by him again.


Just because women stay with their cheating husbands, doesn't mean they've forgotten or ignored the infidelity.

Since finding out my husband cheated on me, I find myself asking "Did he touch HER like this?" every time we're intimate.
Since finding out my husband cheated on me, I find myself asking "Did he touch HER like this?" every time we're intimate.


Especially when the husband isn't sorry for his actions.

My husband cheated on me and my heart is broken, and he's making me feel bad about it being broken. I don't even feel like he's all that sorry.
My husband cheated on me and my heart is broken, and he's making me feel bad about it being broken. I don't even feel like he's all that sorry.


Some stay to protect their children.

 I never understood how people stay together so their kids don't have to  live with divorced parents until my husband cheated...  I stay for my daughter's sake.
I never understood how people stay together so their kids don't have to live with divorced parents until my husband cheated... I stay for my daughter's sake.


Some women genuinely want to be able to forgive their husbands.

My husband cheated on me and even though I want to forgive him, it's really, really hard.
My husband cheated on me and even though I want to forgive him, it's really, really hard.


Others contemplate revenge.

My husband cheated on me a while ago.... not even the first time.  now I find myself wondering why I should remain faithful.
My husband cheated on me a while ago.... not even the first time. now I find myself wondering why I should remain faithful.


No matter what, infidelity makes couples question their relationships.

I found out my husband cheated but I agree to stay and work on our marriage.  Actually terrified I'm not in love with him anymore
I found out my husband cheated but I agree to stay and work on our marriage. Actually terrified I'm not in love with him anymore


Sometimes, the answer to those questions prompt women to stay.

Even tho my husband cheated on me I still want to be with him i love him too much to leave him
Even tho my husband cheated on me I still want to be with him i love him too much to leave him


Some simply don't know what else to do.

My husband cheats on me. With an escort. I let him, I don't know what to say to him. Feeling like a horrible wife
My husband cheats on me. With an escort. I let him, I don't know what to say to him. Feeling like a horrible wife


The road to forgiveness can be long and painful. Sometimes it succeeds and sometimes it doesn't. It's personal and circumstantial.

My husband cheated on me.  I forgave him. Everyday I still feel anger towards him for what he did. I'm afraid I'll always feel this way.
My husband cheated on me. I forgave him. Everyday I still feel anger towards him for what he did. I'm afraid I'll always feel this way.


For more phone infidelity confessions, ​check out Whisper.

Watch this video to learn more about Anna Duggar's decision to stay with her husband:

Anna Duggar Has Vowed to Remain by Her Husband's Side
Anna Duggar Has Vowed to Remain by Her Husband's Side


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