A complete recap of the best Twitter day ever, made possible by DeAndre Jordan and the NBA
By JOHN DORN
Whatever the Internet's previous milestone day was prior to Wednesday, erase it from the record books. It pails in comparison to Wednesday, July 8 -- the day DeAndre Jordan changed his mind and changed Twitter forever.
This will take a while, but we'll explain.
The morning began with news that the Los Angeles Clippers were desperately trying to sway DeAndre Jordan away from his verbal commitment to sign with the Dallas Mavericks -- a mere 12 hours before he was eligible to make his Mavs deal official at 12 a.m. Thursday.
The emoji war
After hearing word of the Clipper contingent's trip to Texas to meet with Jordan, a Mavericks group also began flocking to him. This all started when Chandler Parsons tweeted an airplane emoji, or code for him flying out to meet with Jordan.
✈️
— Chandler Parsons (@ChandlerParsons) July 8, 2015
This was shortly followed up by a tweet from Clippers guard J.J. Redick, who lives in Texas, detailing his form of transportation to meet with DJ.
Blake Griffin then joined the party:
✈️🚁🚙
— Blake Griffin (@blakegriffin23) July 8, 2015
Now here's where things went from good to great. You remember Chris Paul, LeBron James and Dwyane Wade venturing off on a banana boat yesterday, don't you? Well, CP3 graced Twitter with this:
🍌🚤
— Chris Paul (@CP3) July 8, 2015
By now, the basketball world, and the Internet as a whole, was a wreck. But things were just getting started.
The NBA's resident dad and new Clipper Paul Pierce desperately wanted to get in on the fun, but just didn't know how. He tried, though. We presume a Google search of "how to emoji" shortly preceded this train wreck of a tweet:
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) July 8, 2015
Rudy Gobert of the Jazz responded about as good as anyone could've:
Paul Pierce just tweeted with his Game Boy color lol
— Rudy Gobert (@rudygobert27) July 8, 2015
Then, these just kept piling up.
🏆💍
— Marreese Speights (@Mospeights16) July 8, 2015
— Charlotte Hornets (@hornets) July 8, 2015
🏀☀️🌴
— Orlando Magic (@OrlandoMagic) July 8, 2015
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
— Jordan (@Jumpman23) July 8, 2015
🚽
— Baron Davis (@BaronDavis) July 8, 2015
Emoji battle?
— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) July 8, 2015
Ah ok .. I see .. 🔓🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🔒💤 #mambaouthttps://t.co/sdx5kpqWwY
— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) July 8, 2015
The hostage situation
Just when we thought the day couldn't get any more ridiculous, it turned out it was just getting started. When the emoji nonsense started to fizzle out, the national reporters resumed doing their emoji-less jobs. But it only confused people more.
The Clippers meeting with DeAndre Jordan is underway in Houston, league sources told Yahoo Sports.
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 8, 2015
Yeah, uh, those tweets essentially at the same exact time. But, regardless of what time the meeting started/ended, it apparently went well -- well enough to apparently sway DJ back to LA. But, still, there was more:
Clippers believe DJ is returning to LA but I'm told they are staying at his house until he can sign at midnight.
— Ramona Shelburne (@ramonashelburne) July 9, 2015
THEN THEY STARTED TO PLAY CARDS.
This entire situation is ridiculous. Doc Rivers, Steve Ballmer and various Clippers camped out in DeAndre's Houston home, refusing to let anybody in or out of the house until paperwork was signed.
Oh, and Griffin gave us proof:
Don't agree with the furniture layout but I'm not an interior designer. pic.twitter.com/23PNgQB88z
— Blake Griffin (@blakegriffin23) July 9, 2015
Blake is live tweeting a hostage situation from the scene! Well, sort of.
This may seem like a seige, but DeAndre isn't asking anyone to leave. So more like "boxing out"
— Ramona Shelburne (@ramonashelburne) July 9, 2015
Cards and video games! Which card game? Was it Xbox One? PS4? WE NEED ANSWERS.
Quick sidebar here: Through all this, we may have actual proof that ESPN.com's Chris Broussard actually makes things up. Things got suspicious when this tweet popped up:
Jordan's house isn't in Dallas -- it's in Houston. And it was common knowledge at that point that Cuban was in Houston. So...
Ohhhh. Right, man. Definitely.
But after all the fun and games wrapped up, there was a firm agreement in place. Well, for DJ, a second one.
DeAndre has committed to return to the Clippers. He basically did yesterday. But they all gathered around at just now to make it official
— Ramona Shelburne (@ramonashelburne) July 9, 2015
The aftermath
Five minutes after it could become officially official, it was. The Clips announced via Twitter -- what else? -- that they re-signed their center.
Home is where your ❤ is. #WelcomeHomeDJpic.twitter.com/Ov0RoRKMDL
— LA Clippers (@LAClippers) July 9, 2015
Still -- still! -- there was more fun to be had. Like Sad Chandler Parsons:
I thought I had a good pump fake.
— Chandler Parsons (@ChandlerParsons) July 9, 2015
And Paul Pierce being an old man again -- then channeling his former Brooklyn Nets self, showing us the visual proof:
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) July 9, 2015
(A flash wouldn't have hurt, Truth.)
After a long day's work, J.J. Redick was finally ready to reverse his F- grading of the Clippers offseason, get back in his car, return home and get some rest.
The day after
The storm has partially blown over, but Mark Cuban still has some grievances to air out. Through the whole process, it was widely reported that Jordan had ignored calls from Cuban and Parsons since Tuesday.
The Mavs owner gave fans some clarity in a Cyberdust message Thursday morning:
Mark Cuban's CyberDust message to Mavs fans (he says there is more to come): pic.twitter.com/bTq1Jqz2qa
— Tim MacMahon (@espn_macmahon) July 9, 2015
Finally, remember that reporting gaffe by Broussard? Cuban had one last parting shot, and he directed it toward the ESPN reporter in a particularly damning way.
Broussard responded a short time later:
Yesterday's never-ending shenanigans seem to be seeping into today, so the book on this is far from close. What we know for sure is that DeAndre Jordan reneged on his verbal deal with Dallas to re-sign with Los Angeles -- and in the process, gave us one the most entertaining day of tweets we've ever seen.
More from AOL.com:
Mike Francesa is on the radio explaining what emojis are
Clippers guard J.J. Redick slams Doc Rivers' offseason moves
Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony are on vacation together, and the Internet is making jokes again