All the feels and none of the hype: why your second love deserves it all

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As every romantic comedy and love song has always taught us, there's nothing like a first love. Our first loves teach us how to rely on someone while remaining independent, how nice the cheesy stuff can be despite their cliches, and how to care about someone else as much as we care about ourselves.

What the rom-coms don't always show us, however, is the most important thing we learn from our first time being in love: what it feels like to fall out of it. The harshest reality we go through in the dating world is that our first loves probably won't be our last. It's the most painful kind of heartbreak.

That's why the second love deserves even more hype than the first. Our first loves teach us how to love someone else. Our second loves teach us how to love someone else even after experiencing the pain of a failed relationship.

Our second loves teach us that some guys actually treat us the way we deserve to be treated. They prove that we were right to end our earlier relationships because there really is a more perfect fit out there. They make us appreciate the little things that were neglected in our former relationships.

Some people may think that the second love can never be as special as the first. They're wrong. The second love is more real and mature than the first, but not any less special. After ending a relationship, we know what we're looking for in future partners. We have a better understanding of what we need and we're not blindsided by attraction or butterflies.

That's not to say that we can't get butterflies with our second loves. It just means that the butterflies don't deceive us anymore. We know that the second love is right for us because he's everything the first love couldn't or wouldn't be.

Most importantly, the second love is able to love us despite our "baggage." It takes a lot to get over the first love. Sometimes, the healing process includes putting up a metaphorical wall that keeps people from accessing our feelings - and thus hurting us - in the future. Breaking down that wall is no small feat.

The second love teaches us how to trust and be vulnerable again. We love you, second loves! You deserve the biggest hype of all.



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