Martha Stewart gets racy during her roast of Justin Bieber

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Martha Stewart Gets Racy During Her Roast of Justin Bieber


If you thought Martha Stewart was all sugar, spice and everything nice these days, think again.

Case in point - the domestic goddess's raunchy roast of Justin Bieber Monday night.

"Let's get to the reason I'm here tonight, which is to give Justin Bieber some tips to use when he inevitably ends up in prison. The first thing you'll need is a shank. I made mine out of a pintail comb and a pack of gum. I'll show you how later," said Martha Stewart on "The Roast of Justin Bieber."

Martha! We never thought we'd hear your sweet voice utter such words. And in that adorable flower sweater?! We're scarred for life, yet oddly tickled.

We all know Martha spent some time in the slammer back in 2004, but come on! Girl has got some sass.

And Martha's roast got MUCH worse from there. We'll spare you the NSFW details, but the rest of her rant touched on stabbing people, marijuana and a three-way.

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Martha Stewart gets racy during her roast of Justin Bieber
FILE - This Sept. 4, 2013 file photo shows Martha Stewart at the 2013 Couture Council Award Luncheon in New York. Stewart was honored for her public television series "Martha Stewart’s Cooking School" in the studio-based television category at the James Beard Foundation awards on Friday, May 2, 2014. (Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP, File)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 29: Martha Stewart attends the 2014 Time 100 Gala at Frederick P. Rose Hall, Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 29, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/FilmMagic)
THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON -- Episode 0094 -- Pictured: (l-r) Television personality Martha Stewart and host Jimmy Fallon during the 'Cubano-Off' cooking segment on July 25, 2014 -- (Photo by: Douglas Gorenstein/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 01: Donald Trump and Martha Stewart attend The New York Observer Relaunch Event on April 1, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD GAME NIGHT -- Episode 220 -- Pictured: (l-r) Martha Stewart, Matthew Morrison, Scott Wolf, Contestant -- (Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
COMMERCIAL IMAGE - Martha Stewart interacts with bloggers at the Staples booth during BlogHer, the nation’s largest blogging conference, Friday, Aug. 3, 2012, in New York.  Stewart, founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, served as keynote speaker at the conference and then proceeded to the Staples booth to demonstrate organization solutions from the Martha Stewart Home Office with Avery product line, sold exclusively at Staples. (Photo by Diane Bondareff/Invision for Staples/AP Images)
Martha Stewart attends the world premiere of "Get On Up" at the Apollo Theater on Monday, July 21, 2014, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
From left, first lady Michelle Obama, Jill Biden, wife of Vice President Joe Biden, and Martha Stewart, visit with expecting mothers during Operation Shower, a celebration for pregnant women whose husbands are service members, Wednesday, April 13, 2011, at Camp Lejeune, N.C. (AP Photo/Gerry Broome)
Martha Stewart attends a special screening of "And So It Goes" at Guild Hall in East Hampton on Sunday, July 6, 2014 in New York. (Photo by Scott Roth/Invision/AP)
IMAGE DISTRIBUTED FOR MACY'S -Martha Stewart creates holiday popcorn balls with local Make-A-Wish children, from left, Alexandria, Ben, and Alexzander at Macy’s in celebration of the retailer’s annual Believe campaign in Miami on Dec. 7, 2013. (Josh Ritchie/AP Images for Macy’s)
Judge Martha Stewart attends "Hub Network's First Annual Halloween Bash" on Sunday, Oct. 20, 2013, at the Barker Hanger in Santa Monica, Calif. The star-studded special will be broadcasted on the Hub Network on Saturday Oct. 26, 2013. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision for the Hub Network/AP Images)
Martha Stewart arrives at "Hub Network's First Annual Halloween Bash" on Sunday, Oct. 20, 2013, at the Barker Hanger in Santa Monica, Calif. The star-studded special will be broadcasted on the Hub Network on Saturday Oct. 26, 2013. (Photo by Todd Williamson/Invision for the Hub/AP Images)
Martha Stewart arrives to court in New York, Tuesday, March 5, 2013. Macy's Inc. is suing the media and merchandising company Stewart founded for breaching an exclusive contract when she signed a deal with J.C. Penney in December 2011 to open shops at most of its stores this spring.(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)
Martha Stewart, bottom left, watches Novak Djokovic, of Serbia, play Juan Martin del Potro, of Argentina, in the quarterfinal round of play at the U.S. Open tennis tournament, Thursday, Sept. 6, 2012, in New York. At rear are Jenna Bush Hager, right, and her sister Barbara Pierce Bush, daughters of President George W. Bush. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)
In this image released by General Mills, Martha Stewart talks with contestant Linda Bibbo of Chagrin Falls, Ohio, about her Almond-Macaroon Coffee Cake at the 45th Pillsbury Bake-Off Contest at the Peabody Orlando Hotel, Monday, March 26, 2012, on Orlando, Fla. Finalists from around the country are competing for a $1 million grand prize to be announced live Tuesday on Hallmark Channel’s "The Martha Stewart Show." (AP Photo/General Mills, Todd Rosenberg)
Martha Stewart, from "Martha Stewart's Cooking School", poses for a portrait during the PBS TCA Press Tour on Saturday, July 21, 2012, in Beverly Hills, Calif. (Photo by Matt Sayles/Invision/AP)
Martha Stewart, left, and actress Sigourney Weaver attend the premiere of "The Ides of March" at the Ziegfeld Theatre on Wednesday, Oct. 5, 2011 in New York. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)
Businesswoman Martha Stewart purchases Haitian pieces during a visit to an artisans center in Croix des Bouquets, north east of in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Wednesday, July 27, 2011. Martha Stewart, the top executive of Macy’s Terry Lundgren and high-end fashion designer Rachel Roy landed in the Haitian capital Wednesday on a day trip to explore business opportunities, promote foreign investment and even renew purchase orders for the metal and papier-mache handicrafts for which the Caribbean nation has long been known.(AP Photo/Dieu Nalio Chery)
COMMERCIAL IMAGE - In this photo taken by AP Images for Staples, Martha Stewart, left, founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Demos Parneros, center, president U.S. retail, Staples, and Tim Bond, right, group vice president Avery Dennison Office and Consumer Products, unveil the organizational solutions of the Martha Stewart Home Office with Avery product line sold exclusively at Staples, Tues., Feb. 7, 2012, in New York. The new everyday line boasts more than 300 products across multiple categories that include desk organization, journals, portable filing and pantry organization. (Diane Bondareff/AP Images for Staples)
Martha Stewart attends a special event celebrating Good Housekeeping magazine's 125th anniversary on Monday, April 12, 2010 in New York. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 11: Martha Stewart is seen at Marc Jacobs during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2015 at Seventh Regiment Armory on September 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 11: Martha Stewart (L), fashion designer Marc Jacobs (2nd from R) attend the Marc Jacobs fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Spring 2015 at Park Avenue Armory on September 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Marc Jacobs)
ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 26: Martha Stewart attends the Atlantic City Food & Wine Festival hosted by Caesars Entertainment on Saturday, July 26, 2014 in Atlantic City New jersey
EAST HAMPTON, NY - AUGUST 30: Photographer Cindy Sherman and Martha Stewart attend the 2014 Perfect Earth Project Family Picnic And Concert at Cindy Sherman's farmhouse on August 30, 2014 in East Hampton, New York. (Photo by Taylor Hill/WireImage)
SAG HARBOR, NY - AUGUST 16: Martha Stewart attends the 3rd Annual Padde for a Cure on August 16, 2014 in Sag Harbor, New York. (Photo by Steven A Henry/FilmMagic)
ATLANTIC CITY, NJ - JULY 26: Martha Stewart attends the Atlantic City Food & Wine Festival hosted by Caesars Entertainment on Saturday, July 26, 2014 in Atlantic City New jersey (Photo by Tom Briglia/FilmMagic)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Pictured (l-r): Andy Cohen, Martha Stewart, NeNe Leakes and Jeff Lewis -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
SOMERSET, NJ - JUNE 30: Martha Stewart attends Health Fest 2014 at The Palace At Somerset Park on June 30, 2014 in Somerset, New Jersey. (Photo by Bobby Bank/WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 29: Martha Stewart attends the TIME 100 Gala, TIME's 100 most influential people in the world at Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 29, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for TIME)
LAS VEGAS, NV - MARCH 12: Martha Stewart attends a book signing for her new book 'Martha Stewart's Cakes' at Macy's on March 12, 2014 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Steven Lawton/FilmMagic)
Martha Stewart laughs as she testifies on direct examination by her attorney Eric Deiler at the New York State Supreme Court Tuesday, March 5, 2013 in New York. Stewart, 71, is at the center of a bitter legal battle between two of the nation's largest retailers, Macy's Inc. and J.C. Penney Co. Macy's sued the media and merchandising company Stewart founded for breaching an exclusive contract when she signed a deal with Penney in December 2011 to open shops at most of its stores this spring. Macy's, which has sold Martha Stewart products including towels and pots since 2007, is trying to block Penney from selling those products. (AP Photo/The Daily News, David Handschuh, Pool)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 20: Martha Stewart seen in West Village on June 20, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Robert Kamau/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 01: Martha Stewart attends the 2016 New York Restoration Project's Spring Picnic at Morris-Jumel Mansion on June 1, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Monica Schipper/WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 27: Martha Stewart attends 'The Man Who Knew Infinity' New York Screening at Chelsea Bow Tie Cinemas on April 27, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 26: Martha Stewart attends 2016 Time 100 Gala, Time's Most Influential People In The World - Cocktails at Jazz At Lincoln Center at the Times Warner Center on April 26, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Time)
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - APRIL 07: Martha Stewart attends the 2016 UJA-Federation of New York's fashion division luncheon at The Pierre Hotel on April 7, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Noam Galai/WireImage)
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - APRIL 06: Martha Stewart attends The Hollywood Reporter's 2016 35 Most Powerful People in Media at Four Seasons Restaurant on April 6, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Noam Galai/WireImage)
MIAMI, FL - FEBRUARY 27: Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten and Martha Stewart attend Rose Brunch Hosted By Martha Stewart And Jean-Georges Vongerichten during 2016 Food Network & Cooking Channel South Beach Wine & Food Festival Presented By FOOD & WINE at Edition Hotel on February 27, 2016 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Manny Hernandez/Getty Images for SOBEWFF)
MIAMI BEACH, FL - FEBRUARY 26: Martha Stewart and chef Nobu Matsuhisa attend Nobu Miami & Malibu Farm Celebrate SOBEWFF At The Eden Roc Hotel at Nobu Miami Beach on February 26, 2016 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by John Parra/Getty Images for Nobu Miami)
NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 28: Author/ television personality Martha Stewart poses for a photo during the 'Martha Stewart Weddings: Ideas And Inspiration!' book launch at Macy's Herald Square on January 28, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)
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We don't think we'll be able to watch "Martha Stewart's Cooking School" the same way ever again.

And we weren't the only ones pleasantly surprised by Martha's roast. Hollywood Take claimed her "shocking dirty jokes" made her "the real star of the show."

And though a writer for People noted Martha was an odd choice for the roast, she did admit the lifestyle guru "ended up being a laugh riot."

Looks like Martha can now add hilarious roaster to her long list of accomplishments. And note to self - never get on her bad side.

Warning NSFW: If you want to hear more of Martha's racy roast, then watch the video below:

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