Holly Madison contemplated suicide while living at the Playboy Mansion

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Holly Madison Contemplated Suicide While In Playboy Mansion


Life as one of the "Girls Next Door" wasn't as glamorous as it looked on TV.

Holly Madison, a former Playboy Bunny and star of The Girls Next Door, is set to publish a memoir later this year. Madison revealed the cover for the book, Down the Rabbit Hole, on Instagram this week:

In a press release, publisher Harper Collins said the book looks at some of Madison's darker moments.

"...What seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion-including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years-quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies," the release stated.

"Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn't a dream at all-and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide."

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Holly Madison contemplated suicide while living at the Playboy Mansion
Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner, left, answers questions during a news conference at Walt Disney World in Lake Buena Vista, Fla., Thursday, Feb. 3, 2005. Shown here with Hefner are Holly Madison, center, and Kendra Wilkinson, right. After the visit to Walt Disney World, Hefner and his entourage are to head to Jacksonville, were he's throwing his legendary Playboy Super Bowl party. (AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack)
Playboy founder Hugh Hefner poses with Holly Madison, right, Bridget Marquardt, and Kendra Wilkinson, left,at an event promoting the November issue of Playboy Tuesday, Oct. 11, 2005 in New York. The women are the three stars of the E! cable television show "The Girls Next Door" and are featured in the magazine. (AP Photo/Stephen Chernin)
Bridget Marquardt,left, and Holly Madison of "The Girls Next Door," dance at a fundraiser for Brad Pitt's Make it Right Foundation at the House of Blues in the French Quarter of New Orleans Monday, Feb. 4, 2008.(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Creator and publisher of Playboy magazine Hugh Hefner with guests (left to right) Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison from " The Girls Next Door" arrive at the Spike TV "Guys Choice" award show in Los Angeles, Friday, May 30, 2008. (AP Photo/Gus Ruelas)
Holly Madison from E!'s "The Girls Next Door" poses with a Captain Morgan statue during Captain Morgan's Ultimate Pose Off II in Chicago, Friday, Sept. 19, 2008. (Jack Dempsey/ AP Images for Captain Morgan)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 17: Playmate Holly Madison attends the panel discussion for 'The Girls Next Door' during the E! Networks presentation at the 2005 Television Critics Association Summer Press Tour at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on July 17, 2005 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
NEW YORK - OCTOBER 11: Hugh Hefner, editor-in-chief of Playboy magazine, and Holly Madison (R), of E!'s 'The Girls Next Door,' pose as they sign copies of the November issue of Playboy at Virgin Megastore Times Square October 11, 2005 in New York City. (Photo by Paul Hawthorne/Getty Images)
Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison (Photo by Jesse Grant/WireImage for Amazon.com)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 29: Playboy models Bridget Marquardt (R) joins Holly Madison at the unveiling of her ''Girls Next Door'' jewelry collection at the Kitson Los Angeles boutique on July 29, 2006 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - AUGUST 3: Playboy Publisher Hugh Hefner, poses with Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison at the 'Hugh Hefner And the Girls Next Door' DVD signing at Tower Records on August 3, 2006 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - AUGUST 15: 'Girl Next Door' model Holly Madison attends the Playboy and Stoli's celebration of the September cover appearance and pictorial for 'The Girls Next Door' on August 15, 2006 at the Social Hollywood in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for Playboy Enterprises, Inc.)
Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt at the The Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/WireImage)
Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt, and Holly Madison 'The Girls Next Door' at the Palms in Las Vegas, Nevada (Photo by Christina Elliott/WireImage)
MONTE CARLO, MONACO - JUNE 12: Playmate Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner, playmates Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson attend a photocall promoting the television serie 'Girls Next Door' on the second day of the 2007 Monte Carlo Television Festival held at Grimaldi Forum on June 12, 2007 in Monte Carlo, Monaco. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson (Photo by Denise Truscello/WireImage)
Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner and Bridget Marquardt (Photo by Tony Barson/WireImage)
HOLLYWOOD - JUNE 12: Publisher Hugh Hefner arrives with Girls Next Door Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt at the 36th AFI Life Achievement Award tribute to Warren Beatty held at the Kodak Theatre on June 11, 2008 in Hollywood, California. The show will air on USA Network at 9PM PST on June 25, 2008. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for AFI)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - SEPTEMBER 06: Playboy Model Holly Madison of 'The Girls Next Door' attends National Lampoon's A Night of Fantasy with The Girls Next Door & Ludacris at The Playboy Mansion on September 6, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by C Flanigan/FilmMagic)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - APRIL 30: Holly Madison of The Girls Next Door arrives at Los Angeles Confidential Magazine's May/June Issue Launch Party at XIV Restaurant on April 30, 2009 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Beck Starr/WireImage)
The Girls Next Door Playmates Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson attend the Playboy Launch of new men's fragrance at The Hotel on Rivington on October 30, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/FilmMagic)
LAS VEGAS, NV - DECEMBER 06: Model and television personality Holly Madison appears at the 10th annual Las Vegas Great Santa Run benefiting Opportunity Village at the Fremont Street Experience on December 6, 2014 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by David Becker/Getty Images)
LAS VEGAS, NV - DECEMBER 06: (L-R) Entertainers Olivia Newton-John, Wayne Newton, model and television personality Holly Madison and a Santa Claus character appear at the 10th annual Las Vegas Great Santa Run benefiting Opportunity Village at the Fremont Street Experience on December 6, 2014 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by David Becker/Getty Images)
Photo by: Raoul Gatchalian/starmaxinc.com @2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 05/01/14 E! Reality Star HOLLY MADISON unveils 1923 Bourbon & Burlesque at Mandalay Bay Hotel (Las Vegas, Nevada), May 1, 2014
LAS VEGAS, NV - March 21 : Holly Madison is first person to use the Cupcake ATM at the grand opening of Sprinkles Cupcakes Las Vegas at The Linq in Las Vegas, NV on March 21, 2014. Credit: RTNRDEK/MediaPunch
LAS VEGAS, NV - March 16 : Claire Sincliar, Holly Madison and Josh Strickland pictured as Elvis Costello with The Roots performs at The Brooklyn Bowl Las Vegas at The Linq in Las Vegas in Las Vegas, NV on March 16, 2014. RTNKabik/MediaPunch ***HOUSE COVERAGE***
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"In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself."

The Girls Next Door was a reality show on E! that ran from 2005 to 2010. It followed Madison and fellow playmates Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt.

NEWS: Holly Madison is a Mom!

Today, 35-year-old Madison is married to self-proclaimed "experience creator" Pasquale Rotella. Their daughter, Rainbow Aurora, turned 2 years old on March 5. Former co-star Wilkinson has also moved on since the show's end: She's married to Hank Baskett and mom to two kids: Hank, 4, and Alijah, 10 months.

As for their joint boss/ex-boyfriend, Hugh Hefner married Crystal Harris (another Playboy Bunny) in 2012. Here's how they celebrated:

Newlyweds Hef and Crystal's Post-Wedding Bliss
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