The hilarious guide to giving a hug
Hugging. It doesn't seem hard ... but there's plenty of ways to screw it up. That's why BuzzFeed helpfully made a step-by-step guide to ensure that you get the most out of your embrace.
Should you take this seriously? No. Should you enjoy a few minutes of laughs? Definitely.
Step 1: Getting into the hug. Now that you know a hug is going to happen, put your arms out and your head back. This is a non-threatening posture and shows the other person where their shoulder should go.
Step 2: Hand placement. When placing your hands on another person's body, you don't want to go too low or too high. Too low says, "hey there." Too high: "It's been too long." These both feel creepy.
Step 3: Strength of a hug. This is a tricky balancing act; you don't want to hug too tightly, or get unnecessarily close.
Step 4: Mid-hug convo. Try restating the purpose of the hug. If it's a goodbye hug say something like, "it was good seeing you. We should do this again soon." Don't comment on the quality of the hug, the feeling of your hugging partner's garments, or the scent of their hair. "This is a good hug. Is that coconut?" is just weird.
Step 5: Movement during the hug. Give firm pats on the person's shoulders, reassuring them that what is happening is okay. Don't pet their back condescendingly with the heel of your palm. This tells the other person that you resent them for initiating the hug.
Step 6: Length of hug. Science tells us that a hug should last at least 20 seconds for endorphins to kick in, and to make us feel good. But a hug isn't about feeling good. It's about gently squishing a stranger against yourself, giving you something uncomfortable to bond over. And that's your basic hug! If done correctly, both parties should be riding a wave of relief that such a strange and uncomfortable custom passed so fairly.
Now, go forth and hug!
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