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Surprise! Hello Kitty isn't a kitty ... she's actually a cartoon girl?

Breaking, Hello Kitty Is Not A Kitty

Every so often a story breaks that makes you question everything you think is real. Get ready, because this is one of those stories.

Hello Kitty, that iconic Japanese feline that can be seen on many kindergartner's lunch boxes around the globe, is not a cat. In fact, she's not even Japanese.

In what can only be described as a disturbing report from the Los Angeles Times, Sanrio, the maker of Hello Kitty, told an anthropologist from the University of Hawaii that, "Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature.'

By that logic, Mickey isn't a mouse. Bugs not a bunny. Gossamer not a... actually, what is Gossamer?

So if Hello Kitty isn't a kitty cat, what is she?

According to Sanrio, she's a third grade girl named Kitty White. She has human parents named Mary and George White, and a twin sister named Mimmy. And, get this, she lives in London. London!

Kitty White (if that's even her real name) hasn't commented on this breaking news, but what do you expect ... she doesn't have a mouth.





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ameliabelladonna August 28 2014 at 10:31 AM

She has cat ears and whiskers.....she's a cat. Are sales low?

Flag Reply +13 rate up
2 replies
exitscreaming ameliabelladonna August 28 2014 at 6:55 PM

In 2010 it did $5 billion , in 2014 they expect $7 billion dollars worldwide , with no advertising

Flag Reply 0 rate up
Jay ameliabelladonna August 28 2014 at 10:39 PM

I know right?? I was thinking the same thing. Apparently Japanese people don't know about human anatomy??

Flag Reply 0 rate up
cdrewparks889 August 28 2014 at 5:57 AM

Anthropomorphic cat/human creature. She can use all the words she wants to try and change it after the fact, but that is an anthropomorphic cat.

Flag Reply +9 rate up
2 replies
exitscreaming cdrewparks889 August 28 2014 at 6:57 PM

Anthropomorphic Anthropomorhic

Flag Reply 0 rate up
exitscreaming cdrewparks889 August 28 2014 at 6:57 PM

Anthropomorphic Anthropomorhic

Flag Reply 0 rate up
Linda August 28 2014 at 12:07 PM

THAT IS A CAT IF I EVER SAW ONE. NO PERSON HAS WHISKERS ON THEIR FACE OR POINTED EARS ON THE TOP OF THEIR HEAD! I WONDER WHAT THIS PERSON WAS SMOKING TO SAY THIS IS NOT A CAT. HELLO KITTY IS A CAT!

Flag Reply +8 rate up
Carol August 28 2014 at 1:46 PM

Oh OK. Then it's just a huge coincidence that it has cat ears, whiskers and it's called Kitty. Ok, thanks for clearing that up ... for the entire WORLD who got it wrong

Flag Reply +8 rate up
2 replies
Carol Carol August 28 2014 at 1:51 PM

Forgot to mention, and paws instead of hands and feet

Flag Reply +1 rate up
littiechief Carol August 28 2014 at 10:00 PM

Don't forget the stubby tail.

Flag Reply 0 rate up
jabaileydc August 28 2014 at 11:25 AM

Why doesn't Hello Kitty have a mouth?

Flag Reply +6 rate up
2 replies
Gail and Dee jabaileydc August 28 2014 at 1:54 PM

She is a wet dream to some creep...he can't say no, can't argue, cannot express her own desires, wants, etc. Another "good little girl"

Flag Reply 0 rate up
1 reply
exitscreaming Gail and Dee August 28 2014 at 6:59 PM

" he " can't say no ? Freudian slip ?

Flag +1 rate up
minutemaus jabaileydc August 28 2014 at 4:18 PM

Kitties are meant to be seen, not heard.

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dickn2000b August 28 2014 at 10:33 AM

If it looks like a duck, and talks like a dick and walks like a duck...it's a hello kitty.

Flag Reply +4 rate up
1 reply
Carol dickn2000b August 28 2014 at 1:41 PM

"talks like a dick"?

Flag Reply 0 rate up
jolee9010 August 28 2014 at 7:35 AM

Lol, Hello Kitty, is not a cat, it's a kitty. again somebody's pulling someone's chain. Cat ears, female, whiskers and this is a cartoon charecter Cosplay. much like Barney isn't a dinosaur, It's a person in a costume. Talking to an Anthropologist? so this is an important AOL news story? How about somebody pulling "our" chains..

Flag Reply +4 rate up
3 replies
minutemaus August 28 2014 at 4:16 PM

Somebody had better point her in the direction of a good electrolysis technician, before that whisker situation gets out of control.

Flag Reply +2 rate up
Pat August 28 2014 at 3:01 PM

where is Al Sharpton & his RACIST posse screaming for justice ...

WHY isn't there a BLACK Hello Kitty?

hey rioters & looters ... another liberal cause to take to the streets over! Alert the MEDIA & CNN ...

Flag Reply +2 rate up
1 reply
mstleniee Pat August 29 2014 at 2:13 AM

There IS a black Kitty called Choco somthing and a black Bat, you fool!!!

Flag Reply 0 rate up
Bob August 28 2014 at 1:02 PM

And this is a "breaking news story" ? Really? The attention this is getting encapsulates pretty much all that is wrong with us.

Flag Reply +2 rate up
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