How Long Have You Been At Your Job?

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Less than a Year
You are fresh meat. Your first year will be 52 weeks of HR approved hazing, punctuated by moments of thinking, "Is this seriously happening?" when inspiring and/or terribly stupid events arise. You are the last one to be offered treats from the gift baskets that arrive by the truckload in December.

1-2 Years
You are figuring things out. You know who the weirdos are, who's really in charge, and which bathroom to use after lunch at the Mexican place. But you aren't yet entrenched in the power structure. When recruiters still call you, you are flattered and intrigued, but then you remember all that hazing you went though.

2-5 Years
You are taken somewhat seriously. You've survived some bad times, seen a few good days, and are automatically considered "part of the team." Sometimes you consider going back to school, and if you were canned tomorrow, your desk would take hours to clean out. By now, you have most likely acquired a nickname that you despise.

5-8 Years
You're now an expert on the place. You are either on your way up or comfortable in your safe little spot. The fresh meat either looks up to you or pities you, depending on your demeanor. You practice your presentations in front of the mirror in the morning, and hear imaginary applause as you conclude. You probably have a favorite Scotch.

8-12 Years
You are thought of as a mentor. That might be because of your large pile of acquired wisdom, but more likely, it's because you've been parking in the same spot since Bush was president. You have frequently contemplated buying a boat.

Longer Than 12 Years
Hopefully you are in charge of something. If you aren't, you are most likely tragically underpaid, living on autopilot, and trying not to draw to much attention to yourself. You may also run a lucrative side business that no one in the office knows about.
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