Translating Small-Talk

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Sometimes it's not the business jargon that's confusing. It's the true sentiment hidden inside the chitchat. Here are a few translations of the double-speak you probably hear on a regular basis.

Words spoken: "You look tired."
Meaning that comes across: "I'm very rude."



Words spoken: "As I was saying,"
Meaning that comes across: "Stop interrupting me, fool."




Words spoken: "I'll look into that."
Meaning that comes across: "Never speak of this again."




Words spoken: "Can you do me a favor?"
Meaning that comes across: "Here's some more work you don't have time to do."




Words spoken: "Can I pick your brain?"
Meaning that comes across: "I need you to solve my problems."




Words spoken: "Let's take this offline."
Meaning that comes across: "I'd like to cruelly gossip about these people later."




Words spoken: "I made printouts."
Meaning that comes across: "Here, have some trash."




Words spoken: "We all live the brand."
Meaning that comes across: "I don't have a soul."



Words spoken: "Do you have a new-client discount?"
Meaning that comes across: "I'm going to give you nightmares and ulcers."



Words spoken: "I'm a rainmaker."
Meaning that comes across: "I have a trust fund and lots of trusty friends."




Words spoken: "That's just how it is around here."
Meaning that comes across: "My dreams are ashes."




Words spoken: "He's from another era."
Meaning that comes across: "The old man is an unapologetic racist."




Words spoken: "You look nice today."
Meaning that comes across: "Where's your interview?"




Words spoken: "Here's your company smartphone."
Meaning that comes across: "You're going to work over vacation."



Words spoken: "We don't pay our interns."
Meaning that comes across: "Only wealthy people can afford to work here."



Words spoken: "Let me show you something awesome."
Meaning that comes across: "I want to be your friend."




Words spoken: "I've been really looking forward to this meeting."
Meaning that comes across (if not said sarcastically): "I am a sociopath."




Words spoken: "I'll be here for a while longer, I think."
Meaning that comes across: "My stock vests soon."



Words spoken: "Oh, yeah. This is our meeting."
Meaning that comes across: "I frequently restate the obvious because silence upsets me."

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