Do You Really Know What Makes You Happy?

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Gretchen RubinResearch shows that many people are miserable at their jobs. Given how much of your life is spent working, finding happiness at work is key. But how do you get started? Gretchen Rubin, who wrote the book on happiness -- literally and is AOL Jobs newest contributor, addresses that topic here.

One key to a happy life is self-knowledge. I can build a happy life only on the foundation of my own nature. I've found that the more my life reflects my real interests, values, and temperament, the happier I become.

But it's very hard to know ourselves; it's easy to be distracted by the way we wish we were, or think we ought to be, or what others think we should be, until we lose sight of what's actually true.

As Christopher Alexander observed: "It is hard, so terribly hard, to please yourself. Far from being the easy thing that it sounds like, it is almost the hardest thing in the world, because we are not always comfortable with that true self that lies deep within us."

Here is a list of 20 questions meant to help you think about yourself, your daily habits, your nature, and your interests. There are no right or wrong answers; they're fodder for reflection.

  1. If something is forbidden, do you want it less or more?
  2. Is there an area of your life where you feel out of control? Especially in control?
  3. If you unexpectedly had a completely free afternoon, what would you do with that time?
  4. Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorderly environment?
  5. Are you motivated by competition?
  6. Do you find it easier to do things, or spend money, for other people than for yourself?
  7. Do you work constantly? or think you should be working?
  8. Do you embrace rules or flout rules?
  9. Do you depend on deadlines to get things done?
  10. How much TV do you watch in a week (including computer time spent watching videos, movies, YouTube)?
  11. Are you a morning person or a night person?
  12. What's more satisfying to you: saving time or saving money?
  13. Do you like to be in the spotlight?
  14. Is your life "on hold" in any aspect? Until you finish your thesis, lose weight, switch careers?
  15. What would you do if you had more energy?
  16. If you suddenly had an extra room in your house, what would you do with it?
  17. What people and activities energize you? Exhaust you?
  18. Is it hard for you to get rid of things that you no longer need or want?
  19. On a typical night, what time do you go to bed? How many hours of sleep do you get?
  20. If at the end of the year, you had accomplished one thing, what is the one accomplishment that would make the biggest difference to your happiness?

And here's another question for you. What questions would you add to this list, to help other people know themselves better?

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