Nothing says I kind of love you and the way you are like a gym membership. The card could say,
Suck Your Heart Out
Clean up after your wild Valentine
A potato masher can come in handy, but imagine opening this on Valentine
Hellbeast Stuffed Animal
At one time, this stuffed animal was a dalmatian of some kind. Now it
This sort of thing was cute when you were in the 3rd grade and you gave your parents room-cleaning coupons. Hand them out in a later stage of life and you
Look, socks are a great gift! They
First of all, pick a better card. Second, give it a message. Don
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Valentine's Day is meant to bring people together. Couples get romantic, friends get nostalgic and almost everybody just feels the love. Of course, a perfect Valentine's Day can be quickly ruined by a second-rate gift. For example, my father (an educated man) bought my mother a scale one year. Yes, one of those things that tells you how much you weigh, isn't that romantic? Good one, Dad.
I'm taking it upon myself to stop that from happening by sharing these terrible gift ideas. But, in the event you want to break up with somebody and can't work up the nerve, these may come in handy. Gift at your own risk.