Hoarders Don't Get Homes Sold (Listing Fails)

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As #houseporn fiends and real estate junkies, there's nothing we love more than poring through fabulous home listings -- except maybe sorting through the tragically un-fabulous ones. They'll definitely make you laugh, and some of them could make you cry. Every Friday, AOL Real Estate brings you the sorriest listings we could find on the Internet to show you what you should never do when posting your home online. We very appropriately call it #listingfail.

This Week's Theme: 'Hoarders'

hoarder home listings

According to the listing, this Miami home needs "some major TLC." We think this home needs an external self-storage unit! Also, what good are views of the "large backyard" if you can't even get to the window (let alone get through the front door)? And the home may have gorgeous "hardwood floors," but we can't see them.

Most importantly -- what's the point of having drawers if you don't put anything in them? A "Hoarders" candidate for sure.

See more unflattering photos of this hoarders' nightmare (or would it be dream?) below:

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hoarder home listings
We wonder if the owner of this outrageously, embarrassingly cluttered San Francisco home ever asks guests to "take a seat" -- and then laughs hysterically. Pile of chairs aside, there's enough furniture and just plain clutter obstructing that hallway to make it a serious safety hazard! Here's a tip, homeowners: The Container Store. You're welcome.

Thanks to our pals over at Curbed for this epic #listingfail.



hoarder home listings

We're not hating on the fact that there are two televisions in this room. We're hating on the fact that there are two massive, ancient televisions in this room. We're shocked they even kept one of those dinosaurs!

And that's just the beginning. There's also the haphazard smattering of nonsensical tchotchkes all over the place, and that terrifying collection of photo frames hung on the back wall. Now, we realize that you never want to forget the faces of beloved Grandpa Jack, Auntie Maude, Great Uncle Wilfred, etc. But there are far more efficient (and less cluttered) ways to go about it: They're called photo albums.

Thanks to our friends at Nichols & Associates for the tip!

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Apparently this $412,000 Long Beach listing warned, "No need to see inside." Though in any other situation we'd advise against descriptions like that, in this case, it was probably a smart move.


This takes the concept of "hanging onto trash" a little too literally.


It doesn't end there, either...

Some rooms are piled so high with boxes and clothes (we think?) that they're completely unidentifiable! 


Thankfully, this home was bought and turned around not too long ago. Though who in the world would buy a home with these listing photos, we have no idea.


Thanks to Hooked on Houses for this listingfail.

These hoarders in Mesa surely have enough containers and boxes to keep their home organized! So it's beyond us why they've decided to throw them all in useless heap on the floor.


Think that's bad? See the next photo.

We have no words. 


Thanks to Ugly House Photos for this listingfail.

The Irish have brought many a good thing into our lives, including but not limited to GuinnessPierce Brosnan, and St. Patrick's Day. But the luck of the Irish was clearly not with this jam-packed, hoarder's heaven that barely passes as a home.


Somebody please tell these people their bed is, er, facing the wrong way. 


But wait -- there's more...

Homeowners: it's obvious from this picture that you're not really using your couch anymore. Either of them. So we'd strongly advise tossing them. Along with all your paperwork... books... and empty appliance boxes.

These people really need a trip to The Container Store.


Thanks to our pals at Curbed for this listingfail.

Listen, we love our clothes as much as the next person, but seriously now. If you have garments stashed in plastic makeshift wardrobes, grocery bags and luggage, we're guessing you're probably not planning to wear them anytime soon. Please drop off these babies at Goodwill, for your own good.


And those pillows, while you're at it.



Thanks to our friends at Nichols & Associates for this listingfail. 

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Don't let your home be a #listingfail! Take some pro advice from our home staging guides:
Home Staging Mistakes Sellers Should Avoid
Home Staging Tips for Every Season
Home Staging: Hire a Pro or Do It Yourself?



Join in on the conversation! Tweet us listing fails @aolrealestate and hashtag #listingfail, and you could get a shout-out in next week's post!

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