'Sh*t Real Estate Agents Say' Finally Hits the Web

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shit real estate agents sayAfter the breakout success of "Sh*t Girls Say" on YouTube, just about every group under the sun has been skewered in the popular fill-in-the-blank series. But with over a million registered Realtors in the U.S., where's the self-deprecating sendup for real estate agents? Well, thanks to agents Brian Copeland and Maura Neill there's finally a comprehensive place to find all your favorite Realtor cliches. From "It's a great market for sellers" to "It's not dated, it's retro," the duo run down some of the most cringe-worthy quotes.

Highlight of the video: Brian gushing over an ad-lib inspired listing that squeezes "appointed," "discerning" and "laminate" in the same sentence. (A tip of the hat to our friends at Curbed for finding this gem.)





Just don't laugh too hard at the pair's convincingly manic performance -- real estate agents are hurting from the housing slump, too. The median income for Realtors fell to $34,100 in 2010, down from $35,700 in 2009, according to the latest National Association of Realtors member survey. Three-quarters of its members also reported receiving no benefits from their firm. Something to keep in mind the next time your agent gives you the hard sales pitch.

See also:
First Time Buyers: How to Choose a Realtor
Don't Be Surprised by Costs of Homeownership

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'Sh*t Real Estate Agents Say' Finally Hits the Web

Total population (2010):   1,130,490
Median sales price (Q3 2011):  $224,300
% ch. median sales price (Q3 2010-Q3 2011):   7.3%
Sales volume (# units sold Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):   12,156
% ch. sales volume (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011 vs. Nov. 2009-Oct. 2010):   -39.8%
Sales per population (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):    1 sale per 93 people
Unemployment rate (Nov. 2011):  7.8%
Foreclosure activity rate (Nov. 2011):  1 in 1,295 units
Walk Score:  40

Despite a steep drop in sales, the Raleigh-Cary market saw considerable price appreciation last year, with its median sales price for single-family homes jumping 7.3 percent from third-quarter 2010 to third-quarter 2011.

At $224,300, the Raleigh-Cary metro had the highest median sales price among the 10 markets on this list and was the only market with a median sales price above the U.S. median. Nonetheless, its affordability rate stayed above the national level, with 73.6 percent of its homes affordable to households earning the area's median income, according to the National Association of Home Builders/Wells Fargo Housing Opportunity Index.

Total population (2010):   623,061
Median sales price (Q3 2011):  $120,900
% ch. median sales price (Q3 2010-Q3 2011):    5.5%
Sales volume (# units sold Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):   9,002
% ch. sales volume (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011 vs. Nov. 2009-Oct. 2010):  -10.8%
Sales per population (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):    1 sale per 69 people
Unemployment rate (Nov. 2011):  7.1%
Foreclosure activity rate (Nov. 2011):  1 in 958 units
Walk Score:  41

Like Raleigh-Cary and other markets on this list, home prices in the Wichita metro area weathered the housing downturn comparatively unscathed.

"Inventory has been up and sales have slowed, but values have been relatively unaffected," said Mike Grbic, associate broker and owner of Mike Grbic Real Estate Experts -- Select Homes in Wichita.

The Wichita metro's median sales price rose 5.5 percent from third-quarter 2010 to third-quarter 2011, to $120,900. For 2011 as a whole, the city of Wichita posted one of the top 10 year-over-year median sales price hikes nationwide, up 17.2 percent, according to a chart provided for this report by Onboard Informatics.

Total population (2010):   1,054,323
Median sales price (Q3 2011):  $123,400
% ch. median sales price (Q3 2010-Q3 2011):    1.4%
Sales volume (# units sold Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):  11,240
% ch. sales volume (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011 vs. Nov. 2009-Oct. 2010):  -18.6%
Sales per population (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):  1 sale per 94 people
Unemployment rate (Nov. 2011):  6.9%
Foreclosure activity rate (Nov. 2011):  1 in 4,001 units
Walk Score:  63

The Rochester metro area had a 6.9 percent jobless rate in November, compared to an 8.2 percent rate nationwide. The area has seen employment grow 2.8 percent since its fourth-quarter 2009 trough, while employment in the nation as a whole has risen 1.3 percent during that time.

The metro has one of the top 20 fastest job growth rates nationwide, according to Brookings.

Of 100 major metro areas, Rochester is one of only 22 to have regained more than half of the jobs lost between its pre-recession high and post-recession low, the think tank said.

While Rochester has long been associated with the Eastman Kodak Co., the area's economic performance no longer depends on the declining fortunes of that company.

Total population (2010):  569,633
Median sales price (Q3 2011):  $157,900
% ch. median sales price (Q3 2010-Q3 2011):    0.8%
Sales volume (# units sold Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):  7,448
% ch. sales volume (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011 vs. Nov. 2009-Oct. 2010):  -25.4%
Sales per population (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):    1 sale per 76 people
Unemployment rate (Nov. 2011):  5.3%
Foreclosure activity rate (Nov. 2011):  1 in 863 units
Walk Score:  48

The Des Moines-West Des Moines metro area had a 5.3 percent unemployment rate in November -- among the lowest rates in the country. Moody's predicts the area will see a further 2 percent jump in jobs from third-quarter 2011 to third-quarter 2012.

"Strong Midwestern values, a highly educated and productive workforce, and the culmination of many years of cooperation between civic, corporate and government make the greater Des Moines area an attractive city to call home (and an) oasis of prosperity," said Brian Wentz, an agent at Burnett Realty in Clive, a suburb of Des Moines.

"That has attracted and retained top employers and led to many years of sustained growth, with no end in sight."

Total population (2010):  528,143
Median sales price (Q3 2011):  $128,700
% ch. median sales price (Q3 2010-Q3 2011):    7.3%
Sales volume (# units sold Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):  6,109
% ch. sales volume (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011 vs. Nov. 2009-Oct. 2010):  -18%
Sales per population (Nov. 2010-Oct. 2011):   1 sale per 86 people
Unemployment rate (Nov. 2011):  7.5%
Foreclosure activity rate (Nov. 2011):  1 in 973 units
Walk Score:  37

Located between Nashville, Tenn., and Atlanta, the Chattanooga metro area enjoys a low unemployment rate, high affordability, and the highest rate of out-of-state in-migration among the 10 markets.

The area's median sales price rose 7.3 percent in the year through third-quarter 2011, to $128,700. The vast majority of homes in the area, 81.3 percent, were affordable to median-income households during that quarter.

"One of Chattanooga's largest resident communities, (which) historically had enjoyed 3 to 3.7 percent on an average differential between list and sales price ... increased (to a) 4 to 4.9 percent differential from 2010 to 2011," said Linda Brock, an affiliate broker at Prudential RealtyCenter.com in Chattanooga.

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