Job Stories: How I Got Fired
By Tiffany Miller, Payscale.com
Call it what you want -- canned, laid-off, pink-slipped, downsized. Getting fired is devastating.
Most folks fight back the tears, pack up their cubes and get the hell out.
But not everyone's experience is the same. Some workers roll out in style.
1. Throwing Punches At The Company Party
Jim was a security guard at a Los Angeles ad agency and infamous for walking around all day flirting with the ladies. He loved his job.
"Best job I ever had," he said. "Beautiful, beautiful women." So when the office Christmas party invites went out, Jim was added to the list.
The party was at a swank lounge, rented out with an open bar for a few hours. They'd reopen to the public when the office extravaganza was over. Of course, everyone drank as fast as they could, trying to make awkward social conversations with the bosses. Jim just flirted as usual, but he drank too. Then he decided to try kissing one of the girls he always chatted up.
Everything was fine until the bar reopened and Jim met the lady's boyfriend. A fight broke out, with both guys swinging. Jim even earned a black eye. Needless to say, Jim was fired the next day.
2. Working Hard To Get Fired
Dan despised his job as a project coordinator at a production house. But he was just too lazy to get another gig.
"I started trying to get fired. I mean, really trying," he said. It started with showing up late, then taking two hour lunches, then leaving early.
"I was barely there. But it was the craziest thing, they would not fire me" he said. "I almost started liking my job." But of course, it did catch up to him. They pulled Dan into his boss's office with a list of absences. "Finally," he yelled. "It just sort of slipped," he said.
3. Asleep On The Job
Bethany dreamed of being a TV reporter while in college in small town Illinois. There wasn't a TV station in driving distance, so she took a job at an NPR station in town. They put her on air right away.
"It was literally in the middle of the night with one break an hour," she said. So to keep her occupied she had her boyfriend come to work with her. They were the only two people in the building, so she figured she'd never be caught. But then the couple fell asleep.
Bethany missed all her one-minute breaks from 3 a.m. on. Another radio employee discovered them cuddling on the floor of the newsroom. Assuming this happened all the time, Bethany showed up to the weekly staff meeting on Monday. "I guess it really was a big deal," she said. "They made an example of me and I ran out."
4. Anonymous Email Oops
Becky was so fired up when her boss started sleeping with her co-worker she decided to send an anonymous note to a gossip website. She asked for confidentiality and assumed she'd get it, considering the dozens of similar stories on the site. Turns out, the assistant who got the email happened to know her co-worker.
"Now really, what are the chances?" she said. Becky was ushered out the door the next day.
5. Giving Away Free Food
Brandy got her first job in high school working behind the counter at a popular bakery in her Florida neighborhood.
She loved working the register, greeting customers and helping new brides order wedding cakes. But her time in the back with the bakers was a nightmare.
"They actually had the nerve to critique my dishwashing skills," she said. "I was smart enough to get a full ride to college. But they didn't think I could clean a dish." So to get them back, Brandy gave away plenty of free food.
"My friends would come in and it was take your pick. Brownies, tiramisu, carrot cake, whatever they wanted," she said.Eventually her bosses noticed the goodies leaving without any cash in return.
"I never really considered food stealing," she said. The owner decided to point out her freebie giving to the entire staff on the bakery camera."I have never been more embarrassed," she said.
Brandy's never been back to the bakery.
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