Great Jobs for the 'Twilight' Vampires
'Eclipse,' the third installment of the hugely popular 'Twilight' film franchise, hits theaters on June 30. And, while the heroic vampire Edward and other vampire characters such as James, Alice and Victoria exist in an imaginary world where no one has to worry about paychecks or paying bills, we wondered: What if they did have to work for a living?
What kinds of things could Edward the vampire actually do to make money? Well, for starters, they'd have to be, um -- nighttime jobs. (The 'Twilight' vampires would be exposed to possible death by the sunlight). Jobs that call for extra-human strength, super speed and endless endurance would be good, while careers that involve wounded people, raw meat and/or human blood -- maybe no so much. And for those positions that require some sort of education or certification, we have two words: night school.
Here are 10 careers that the 'Twilight' vampires (as well as their human night-owl pals) should seriously consider, along with qualifications needed for the job and the annual median salary, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics:
1. Protective service workers must work around the clock to keep people and property safe. These positions include prison and jail security; police officers; correctional officers; fire fighters; security guards and private investigators.
Qualifications: Training varies by the job title, but most protective-service occupations require a high school diploma, college degree and/or on-the-job training. And super strength, speed and endurance would certainly come in handy!
Salary: Varies by position. E.G., fire fighter: $47,270; PI: $47,130; police officer: $55,180
2. Health-care workers are on call at all hours in hospitals, nursing homes and home health care. Nurses, doctors, aides, paramedics, surgical staff, even office assistants are among some of the staff needed for 24-hour care. Most workers favor daytime hours, however, which opens many opportunities for night shifts. Plus, those who work the graveyard shift often earn more money than daytime shifts.
Qualifications: Education varies based on position. Many positions require extensive schooling, specialized certifications and prior experience. Jobs that involve direct interaction with wounded, bleeding people -- nurses, doctors, etc. -- would also need a vampire with extraordinary willpower.
Salary: Varies by position. E.G., paramedic: $33,020; ER nurse: $66,530
3. Air traffic controllers work basic 40-hour work weeks. But, since most control towers and centers operate 24 hours a day, seven days a week, controllers need to be available for the night shift. There are many types of controllers, including airport tower controllers, terminal controllers, en-route controllers and radar controllers
Qualifications: Completion of an FAA-approved education program and pre-employment test; obtaining a school recommendation; meeting basic qualification requirements in accordance with Federal law; and achieving a qualifying score on the FAA-authorized pre-employment test.
4. Computer operators and IT specialists work evening or night shifts and weekends because many organizations use their computers all day, every day. Computer operators monitor the control console and respond to operating and computer messages; while IT people, or computer systems administrators, help keep the machines, systems and networks running smoothly.
Qualifications: Operators typically get on-the-job training to learn the employer's equipment and routines; systems administrators usually require a college degree in information technology.
Salary: computer operator: $37,540; IT: $70,930
5. Funeral directors are on call at all hours because they may be needed to remove remains in the middle of the night. Additionally, funeral home hours sometimes include evenings and weekends, requiring someone to be on staff.
Qualifications: State licensure; two years formal education, an apprenticeship and passing an examination. (Job bonus: free blood -- it's gruesome, sure, but the deceased client doesn't exactly need the blood anymore!)
6. Casino dealers work in casinos all over the world in the cities that never sleep. There's always a demand for nighttime workers at the gaming tables.
Qualifications: Each casino has its own education and training requirements, but most dealers are trained on the job. The ability to stay up all night without getting sleepy certainly helps, too.
Annual median salary: $20,290, but dealers can double or even triple their wages with tips.
7. Photo journalists take pictures of newsworthy happenings and must be available to photograph events whenever they happen, like in the pre-dawn or late-night hours.
Qualifications: A college education with a background in journalism or photography.
8. Taxi drivers and chauffeurs are in demand for other night crawlers who are either out roaming cities, clubbing or perhaps even going into work (or coming home) themselves.
Qualifications: Local governments set licensing standards and requirements for taxi drivers, which may include minimum amounts of driving experience and training. Chauffeurs may be subjected to background checks by the employer -- meaning you'd better have a clean record, with no traceable connection to pierced necks or drained bodies.
Salary: $21,550, plus tips
9. Pastry chefs and bakerswork late-night shifts in order to ensure items are fresh for the following day.
Qualifications: Many pastry chefs and bakers attend culinary school to receive specialized training. (Job bonus: Vampires such as 'Twilight's' Edward would never have to worry about their figures by being tempted to overindulge on the sweet treats they make!)
10. Clinical lab technicians who work in hospitals process test results for patients, no matter what hour of the day. Sometimes, analyzing these test results are the difference between life and death -- of human patients, of course.
Qualifications: A bachelor's degree with a major in medical technology or one of the life sciences; some places hire with only a combination of education and on-the-job or specialized training.