'Selling New York' Episode 12: Opposites Attract but Don't Sell Apartments

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indecisive real estate and building makeoversA marriage of a Democrat to a Republican is a challenge, but it can work in the name of love. What doesn't work, though, is when a couple has two totally different real estate and design visions for their new home and can't seem to agree on anything remotely similar.

That was the case on Episode 12 of HGTV's "Selling New York" this past Thursday. Mama Michele of the Kleier clan doesn't have to be an all-knowing mother hen to know what a waste of time and energy it is to show listings to couples who haven't agreed on anything in advance. Slightly better off is Team CORE Group who are stick to the "before" and "after" model where at least if they don't sell something they have something to show for the episode.


To be fair, I am sure salon owners Valery and Revi are indeed lovely people. They probably talked early on about how they'd raise their three kids, but unfortunately they failed to discuss what they might desire in a new home. With three young boys, they are finding that their 3,500-square-foot home just isn't big enough. Fortunately, they have $3 million-plus to upgrade their New York life.

The only problem is Daddy Valery is just too spent to deal with another gut reno and therefore is gunning for a turnkey property. Meanwhile Mommy Revi has her hopes set on a fixer-upper so she can be involved with the design from the very beginning. Opposites attract, but they don't get Michele Kleier a sale!

Michele keeps her cool showing the couple around TriBeCa. This time around the Kleiers are actually showing Manhattan properties! And better yet, an authentically Downtown property (not just far West Side and south a few dozen blocks from the Upper East and Upper West sides). Yet this might be why they prefer outside of Manhattan and upward to $10 million.

By the third property Michele has had it and channels her stern, scolding mother tone with these two bad housing communicators. Of course everything Revi likes, Valery hates! They didn't agree to anything before starting their search. Ultimately, Revi is the boss so Valery surrenders to the fixer-upper cause. So much for being tired.

Meanwhile, Core Group is stuck with the well-located yet recession-victimized 650 Sixth Ave., an overpriced property that's been on the market for the last three years and going nowhere. We learn that the project -- once marketed by Michael Shvo -- is now on its fourth marketing agent and, worse yet, is still listing expensive prices.

CORE Group's Maggie Kent needs to break it to the developer to drop those prices! Instead, they continue to "fix" the problem by renaming the building. This is the third time the name has been changed and they'll also be giving it the kind of superficial makeovers necessary to entice buyers. (So far the building has been called "650 Sixth Avenue," a more sophisticated "50 West 20th Street," and now it's "The Cammeyer.")

One thing is for certain, you should always trust a man with a sexy accent when it comes to design. Shaun Osher steps it up from dictating what to do, to executing what needs to be done. And boy, he sure knows how to restage an apartment.

Osher takes a car wreck of a place that looks like someone with Phillipe Starckesque sensibilities gone awry and thoughtfully spruces it up with some less aggressive sophistications. Think: darkened floors, more furniture, and the desperately necessary stripping of painted columns. Big props to Shaun for finding a tactful way to visually upgrade a bachelor pad victimized with seizure-inducing LED ceiling lights, a round bed and a ridiculously embarrassing swing. For the love of taste, remember: You can go to Miami on a quick JetBlue flight, but you shouldn't try to bring Miami to Manhattan!

Best Captain Obvious quote of the night
:
From Michele Kleier about Valery and Revi's inability to see eye-to-eye on their next home: "You can already tell there's a problem."

See more home TV coverage, read past reviews of "Selling New York" or find homes for sale in New York, N.Y. at AOL Real Estate.
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