'Selling New York' Episode 8: Poor Sales Means a Work Vacation

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Once again HGTV's "Selling New York" proves to be a totally misnamed show. Last week I said that the real estate reality series was more seeing and looking, and less closing and selling. This week half the show didn't even take place in New York! We were watching "Selling New York," but looking at properties (albeit fantastic ones) in Florida. (Remember when episode four dared take us to Connecticut?) How about we rename the series and call it what it really is? "Let's Just Look at Some Real Estate No One Is Going to Buy."

"Let's Just Look" episode eight, titled, "Location, Location, Location" once again showcased the effort that brokers go to for their clients. The Core Group and the Gumley Haft Kleier clan deserve an A for effort. They slave and sacrifice sanity, family vacations, and even their personal residential style -- all in the name of hopefully selling some real estate.

It's tough selling a property within 22 edited minutes!
Take Michele Kleier. The workaholic Momma goes to great lengths to keep relations solid with some old clients. The longtime friends are a couple who find out Michele is heading down to Florida for a vacation. Instead of spending quality time with her daughters and grandchildren, in the name of a potential commission she'll be squeezing in some Boca Raton house-hunting for people who couldn't be bothered with just going down there themselves.

Working on vacation is something that comes naturally to Michele. After all, family will always be there, work you have to fight to keep. "If you don't give a client your full attention. Somebody else is willing to do that," explains Michele. Poor Mr. Kleier didn't even get to go to Florida to be left behind! Stuck in cold New York, no one appreciates him!

Impressively, Michelle seems to be able to juggle family and work quite well -- no one ever seems mad at her -- at least in the edited-down version. Plus she's so good at finding sweet spots. She shows us a $6.5 million home at One Thousand Ocean with 20-foot ceilings, and a $3.785 million pad with a pool located right on the Intercoastal Waterway.

Alas, as we already know, it's hard to make a multimillion-dollar decision when you haven't seen the multimillion-dollar place.

Back in New York the couple says they like those pics Momma Kleier took, but that they want something smaller. Keep looking, they say (as they all do). Perhaps they should all go down together suggests Papa Kleier who gets to actually say something.

It's settled! The four will go down together and look at properties. (Hmm, exactly what they should have done in the first place, and NOT during Kleier bonding time!)

Meanwhile, Core Group's Michael Garr is a bundle of anxiety and quite possibly might soil himself if everything doesn't go exactly as he wants. What he wants is to be king of his apartment building, The Chelsea Mercantile Building.

Actually, he wants to be the "go-to" guy to all of his neighbors when they're ready to sell. With 351 units that's a lot of potential clients.

Garr is hellbent on proving to his boss, the BMOC Shaun Osher that he is a valuable asset and being that "go-to" guy will cement that. His solution? Throw a party at his pad, get his friend Vicente Wolf, a "world-class designer" to speak and impress his hoity-toity clients.

We meet one, Filippo, who seems to like making people wait, but understandably doesn't commit to the overeager beaver (Garr) right away. Filippo needs to meet with other brokers and Garr needs to simmer down!

There's no stopping Garr. The party is moving full speed ahead until one little thing threatens to ruin Garr's master takeover. A bloody blizzard!

That means Osher is a no-show since he doesn't live at the Chelsea Mercantile Building. How will he see what Garr can pull off?! (Good thing there are cameramen there!)

Fortunately, because everyone else lives in the building, the party is quite the success. (Good Tip: Throw a house party during a blizzard for a good turnout. No one has anywhere else to go anyway.) So Garr kind of wins in the end.

Wolf reconfigures Garr's place (which Garr isn't terribly enthused about). He gets the previously unimpressed Filippo on board to let him try to sell his place. Add to that, a mystery person has allowed Garr to handle his listing. Slowly but surely. Now all Garr has to do is sell something!

Best moment(s): Anytime Vicente Wolf talks. He's excellent at zinging the insults. He calls Garr's apartment "very boring, bland and static." He yells at his assistants, demanding them to move furniture.

And god forbid one of the assistants has an opinion! When one attempts to offer a suggestion, politely asking during the staging of Garr's apartment if she can share her thoughts, Wolf dismisses that with a simple and flat, "No."

Note to lady assistant: Tell us what your idea was! We'll listen.

Read past reviews of "Selling New York" or our other home TV coverage.
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