Craigslist Roommate Nightmares: Los Angeles Edition

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Wow! We've got some extreme Craigslist Roommate Nightmares on the plate for you today, courtesy of Los Angeles. Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay brace yourself because we've got a godess looking for a slave to massage her; a curiously cheap $1 room; and a male prostitute who sleeps on the couch in the living room while you're tucked away in your new room, roomie.

The Ad:

$1 female to share house (sherman oaks)

no sex!! in exchange for company, you will have your own room & bathroom,
thanks


Our Take:
Okay, $1 for a room in Sherman Oaks and there's no sex attached!? You better believe that there's sex attached. I'd have the legal definition of "company" defined on paper before signing anything. Creepy, creepy, creeppy!

The Ad:
I'm looking for a nice female roomie (West or Central SF Valley)
I am looking to rent a decent apartment in west or center valley and was thinking of finding a roomie here. I am a clean, tidy, nice, educated and easy to get along with guy and wants to be roommate with a female around my age. I am not a pervert or something but I think being roomate with a same sex is boring and sounds a little gay!
If this sounds like what you have had in mind just mail me. No race preference but don't be a stoner or drunk please.


Our Take:
Run! Run! Your new roommate is The Situation from Jersey Shore. Just remember he's not a pervert or something. Just a homophobe.

The Ad:
$1200 BBW DOMINA GODDESS LOOKING 4 LIVE IN SLAVE CUCKOLD TYPE IMMEDIATELY (MARINA DEL REY)
BBW GODDESS Looking for TRUE SUB SLAVE To serve me and Live in with me and pay at least half the rent here which is 1200. You would have your own room and bathroom and there is jacuzzi, pool, tennis courts, 24 hour fitness center, and anything you could want.

I am looking for a TRUE SUB SLAVE to serve me and cook for me, clean for me, do my nails, makeup and more intimate things once a connection is established. I am not talking sex but more like massages, foot rubs, sensual touch for my pleasure and things like this.

I Also dominate men on the phone and sometimes online so You would of course be around for that. For the right SLAVE CUCKOLD TYPE this would be a a very exciting opportunity to safely explore your fantasies with discretion that you desire.

I am Very Spiritual and have a Strong Dominating Energy that will Thrill you if you Let it in. To be my Slave Sub you would have to be a spiritual type, conscious with a VERY DEEP NEED TO SERVE ME THIS WAY.

If your not real or not interested don't waste my time. If you are then write me and let me know why you are the Live in Slave for me and what you can offer and lets interview soon.


Our Take:
Hmmm? This sounds very tempting. I've always wanted to be a TRUE SUB SLAVE, though the thought makes me a little nervous. But hey, how can I pass up a jacuzzi, pool, and tennis court for only $1,200? Does sub slave mean that I have to pay all entire electric bill or never get to watch Sports Center? How would BBW Domina Goddess feel about instituting a cleaning chart down the road?

The Ad:
$600 COULD YOU LIVE WITH A GAY HOOKER IN TIGHT-QUARTERS? (Echo Park)
I am searching for the most Unique person to share the most Unique living situation, on a short-to-medium-term basis. Includes utilities and very-minimal Cable.

YOU MUST:
- smoke (or be extremely OK with a smoker environment).
- be a night owl (or be totally cool and able to function with one in the household).
- be very sexually enlightened and OK with my frequent sexing, or sexual yourself in similar ways.
- be OK with the tight quarters involved and sometimes-discombobulated living room.
- be OK with a cool Kitty in the mix.
- be financially stable (I don't believe in credit checks on roomies, so not that); simply seeking someone who can afford it and isn't constantly broke.

I AM:
- a 47yo single gay guy; I sex a lot – often here.
- I smoke cigs and love it. This is a smoker environment. I am a very clean smoker.
- I drink copious amounts of beer, but am hardly ever inebriated (it's the German blood). I am an occasional dabbler in 420, and that tends to be it; I rarely, but once in a blue moon, will indulge in other things; and I avoid Meth-heads like the Plague.

THE PLACE/SITUATION:
- It's a small apt: a semi-one bedroom/studio; there's a "main area" that contains the general living-room type area, the kitchen, and my desk/work space set up behind the living room area (like a studio).
- There's a hallway off the main room, off of which is the small bathroom, which leads to a medium-size bedroom (with no door, but a curtain – and it's actually quite private); THAT'S the room I have available.
- So, I am looking for someone (male or female, gay, bi or straight) who would get into making that back room their own domain; the main room/kitchen is wide open as a hang; I will just work away at the desk; I am very flexible, easy going and low maintenance.
- I get to work from the moment I get up (usually no earlier than noon) till 2-3a (sometimes longer); I do projects on the computer for income, and I cruise for sex.
- I sleep on the living room couch; I love it.
- I can pretty much "sleep through anything" – it doesn't bug me if you are up and around while I am crashed; I just don't want to "bug you" crashed out till mid-day.

IN SUM:
- I don't "need" to rent the room;
- I have done this before with great success and fun; I am looking for the kindred-spirit, company, and fun more than anything else – and a little help on the rent never hurts.
- I am fun and wacky, and I like Unique souls.
- I also like to help people who might just need this very kind of short-term set-up, maybe to reorganize or whatever.

So what'ya think?

Our Take:
This is my nightmare. This-is-my-nightmare. Gosh, I might be flexible with almost everything but the smoking. Sure I don't mind the frequent sexing, but I really, really can't take the smoking. I don't mind that you'll be cruising for sex from the minute you wake up, but smoking? Come'on! On the up side: your new roommate will also be drunk all the time.


For more to keep you up at night, here are
other Craigslist Roommate Nightmares editions.





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