Craigslist Roommate Nightmares: San Francisco Edition

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Ready for this week's Craigslist Roommate Nightmares? Well strap yourself in because these roommate scenarios that will keep you up at night. And this time, if you want free rent then you are going to have to abide by some house rules and massage your new roommate. This is San Francisco after all...



The Ad: $400 Nice Room For Rent 雅房出租 (mountain view)
雅房出租 近山景城Downtown及圖書館, 五分鐘步行至火車站 電車站及公車站. 高速公路101, 85, 237.
限單身上班族或學生.....無煙無炊包水電.


Our Take: What's going on here? Apparently they have one type of renter in mind. This makes me madder than Obama being born a Muslim and refusing to produce his birth certificate.


The Ad: CUARTO PARA RENTA LISTO MARZO 2 (excelsior / outer mission)
SE RENTA CUARTO EN UN DEPARTAMENTO DE 3 CUARTOS LUGAR CALLADO , UNA PERSONA RESPONSABLE Y SIN VICIOS LUGAR TRANQUILO PARA LLEGAR A DESCANSAR.

UBICACION SOBRE LA MISSION ENTRE LA ITALY Y FRANCIA .EL TAMANO DEL CUARTO ES DE 10 X 10 PIES

COCINA Y BANOS COMPARTIDOS


Our Take: Can someone tell me what the hell is going on here?! Are your potential roommates pissing on the American flag??!! This is America where all roommates should be American. Do I need to get Sarah Palin and the Tea Party Patriots on your case and hunt you from a helicopter until you fill out a Craigslist roommate-wanted ad in English?


The Ad: $925 4 Rooms Available in Lower Haight area (alamo square / nopa)
We are not a communal household but we are a collaborative one. We're looking for other body and sex positive, anti-racist, trans-friendly, community-oriented people who want to create a safe, non-oppressive space in which to live, share food, hang out, love, cry, rage, etc. You should be open to occasionally sharing meals, open communication, being creative about/conscious around shared space and the dynamics that go into it, partaking in household responsibilities, being conscious of/active in the neighborhood we'll be living in, and all that other stuff that makes a good house. If you eat something that ain't yours, you should replace it. If you dirty some dishes, you should wash them.

You should be committed to the environment-and show it by saving water, electricity, composting/recycling, and whatever else we think would help!

Our Take: Finally! This is a lot better. Wait! Or is it? Man, enjoy your new roommate: the control freak. Wait until the honeymoon is over and angry notes are left under your door because you didn't follow the rule of flushing the toilet after ever fourth use.


The Ad: $1 Free rent and extra (San Francisco) Can you do massage service for me when I come back home ?

You will live with me at the same house. You don't need a certificate or experience of massage.

Please reply with your age, sex and self-introduction.

If you need food and expense for public transportation such as bus, please let me know. I am willing to offer these too upon your request.

Do you also need tuition fee ?

My hobby is travel. What is your hobby?

Our Take: Well, creepy potential new roommate, my hobby is steering as clear away from people like you as possible. Thank God I don't need a proper certification in massage; I'm only a massage-enthusiast and I always thought that proper training would hold me back in my dream: "massaging" creepy guys who offer free rent in exchange for massages.

Read more of our Craigslist Roommate Nightmare Warnings here.





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